Sleepless in Hanover
Every night I have the same dream. I'm 20 years older, happily married in Grand Rapids, Mich., with a big brown dog and a six-year-old son named Timmy.
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Every night I have the same dream. I'm 20 years older, happily married in Grand Rapids, Mich., with a big brown dog and a six-year-old son named Timmy.
I heard a rumor the other day that baseball is played outside of New York. I'm just as surprised as you are, but apparently there are 28 other teams out there, with 28 general managers, all of whom are salivating over the richest free agent class in baseball history. Money (lots of it) will be spent, franchises will be reborn and loyalties will take a backseat to checkbooks. Below are the top five most eligible ballplayers, coming to a stadium near you.
I ducked underneath the turnstile and my father took my hand in his, leading me up the stairs to the elevated 7 train. We rode the train four stops to Willets Point, and as we stepped off the platform I saw, for the very first time, Shea Stadium -- home of the New York Mets.
Remember that kid in fifth grade who thought he was smarter than everyone else? The one that got straight-A's without ever studying, that sat in the back of the class with his feet propped up on the desk and made smart-aleck comments. The smug little snot that all the kids hated and the teachers secretly detested.
ATTENTION: Baseball fan desperately seeking team to root for. Big-market, high-payroll teams need not apply.
As the air turns colder, summer officially comes to an end and Major League Baseball heads into the final week of the regular season, we turn our attention to three men whose ineffectiveness has been so brilliant that they are simultaneously closing in on three of baseball's most dubious distinctions.