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(05/27/11 2:00am)
At any time between the hours of 11 a.m. and 1 a.m. (except from 3-5 p.m.), I can walk into the Class of 1953 Commons and get a delicious sandwich featuring fresh mozzarella cheese. I can even add sumptuous extras such as feta spread to create a perfectly nuanced sandwich that is both delicious and fully financed by DBA. Even at 12:45 a.m. Even on Saturdays. It's awesome.
(04/08/11 2:00am)
When we applied to Dartmouth, did we agree to become the type of people who automatically places others in neatly-labeled-boxes? Did we want to become someone who judges others for not getting the Goldman Sachs internship or for wanting the Goldman internship in the first place? For some of us, the answer is "yes." These are "Dartmouth didn't make me a douche, I made Dartmouth douchey" types.
(03/04/11 4:00am)
Why does Baker-Berry lend itself to so many awkward interactions amongst students? Every time I set foot in the library I feel like I'm drowning in the unforgivably bad habits of every other library-goer, and I want to know why. As much as I try not to be an academic asshole, I'm tempted to answer with another question: Why do students go to the library in the first place?
(02/25/11 4:00am)
How often do you "go out" at Dartmouth? Don't actually answer, or the person sitting next to you might mistake you for one of those schizophrenics that pretends to be having a Bluetooth conversation while walking their dog but is in fact actually talking to their dog. Instead, think about how you interpreted the question. Was I asking how often you leave your dorm room? How many times a week you hit the club scene in Hanover? How much time you spend outdoors?
(02/04/11 4:00am)
If I hear one more person complain about something at Dartmouth, I'm going to lose it. I'm in the 1902 Room right now, so if it happens as I write this I swear to God I'm going to flip a table in here, flip it back over, stand on it, go on a long-winded and obnoxiously loud tirade about the tyranny of complainers and then sit back down and not do anything about it.
(01/21/11 4:00am)
Let's say you have the aspirations of a double major but the laziness of the average, single-majoring college student. Or, perhaps there's a major that would just look oh-so-good on your resume when it's in the hands of Mr. Goldman or Mr. Sachs, but you just really, really don't want to take that Econometrics class you've heard is so terrible. Thanks to the ingenuity of Dartmouth's major system, all your problems are just a modification away.
(01/14/11 4:00am)
Do Dartmouth students suffer from Dartmouth withdrawal when they leave campus? No, I'm not talking about alcohol withdrawal. Nor caffeine withdrawal. Nor amphetamine or black mold withdrawal. I am referring, instead, to a noted Dartmouth phenomenon: When Dartmouth students leave Hanover, they insist on bringing Dartmouth with them, wherever they go.
(11/19/10 4:00am)
I just want to be able to order a meatless egg-white wrap on whole wheat from the Hop without my masculinity being questioned.
(11/12/10 4:00am)
First of all, let's get one thing straight: eating healthy does not mean that you are healthy. You go to Dartmouth, therefore you are not healthy. But wait, doesn't Dartmouth, due to its small size, have a disproportionate number of varsity athletes? Surely they must be healthy. Well, I guess it's debatable whether or not the effects of chain-smoking cigarettes and shotgunning beers in a vomit-and-piss infused basement offsets the cardiovascular benefits of playing lacrosse, but I think you see my point.
(11/05/10 3:00am)
I can think of no other issue plaguing Dartmouth that so urgently begs forum discussion and student action than the egregious misallocation of iMacs on first floor Berry.
(10/15/10 2:00am)
Like just about every other returning Dartmouth student this year, my excitement to be back on campus was almost entirely fueled by the anticipation of setting foot in the building formerly known as the Thayer Dining Hall. I can only imagine the goosebumps growing on the arms of juniors as they ascended the staircase to the building now called the Class of 1953 Commons; to have walked past this building everyday of sophomore Summer without an invitation of entrance, one could only imagine what wonders might await him or her in exchange for a summer without Jo-Yo's and spicy Russians.