Misreading the ORC: 15S Course Selection

By Caroline Berens, The Dartmouth Staff | 2/12/15 11:46am

As we all spend this week recovering from Winter Carnival and wearily finishing midterms, here @Dartbeat we’re all too aware that course selection for 15S is looming unpleasantly over our heads. How could it already be time for course selection?!, we’ve asked ourselves, shaking out our frozen hair. Didn’t winter just start? While the answer to the latter is an unfortunate yes, we’ve decided to make the most of course selection by compiling a list of the true descriptions of courses – based only on their titles and our imagination – to help show you some fun courses you might be missing. Just remember that if you really want to know what’s worth signing up for, you might want to check the Dartmouth course catalogue.

Biology 268, Genes & Gene Products – Learn how best to wear your new Levi’s and what products to use to customize them. Each student will be required to purchase two disposable pairs of Wranglers for the course’s lab component.

Computer Science 22, 3-D Digital Modeling – How to model while holding an iPhone, iPad or laptop. Guest speakers include Gisele Bundchen, Sean O’Pry and Lea T.

Economics 46, Topics in Money and Finance – Figure out how to budget that remaining $13.83 you have in your bank account so you can buy your mom a birthday gift, order all that Teavana tea you’ve been craving lately and afford to watch “The Imitation Game.”

English 34, American Drama – OMG. America did what? With whom? Find out what the drama is all about next quarter in English 34.

Geography 50, Geographical Information Systems – Hone your ability to use Google Maps, Yahoo! Maps and MapQuest.

Government 60, Ethics, Everyday Life and Law – Debate the moral merits of breaking the law in your everyday life. Topics include stealing more than one piece of fruit from FoCo, failing to check out books from Baker-Berry Library and faking a cold to avoid Thursday morning drill.

History 96.21, Joan of Arc – Spend a quarter focusing on how to become a strong, BA woman. Discussion topics include Katniss Everdeen and Ellen DeGeneres.

Philosophy 34, Language and Thought – Learn to improve your filter so you stop making so many politically incorrect and/or unintelligent comments. The syllabus includes several examinations of George Bush in speech and writing and requires students to journal their daily thoughts.

Religion 36, Religion and Science – An in-depth examination of how Tom Cruise brought Scientology to fame. Students will be asked to jump on a couch as part of their midterm examination while screaming “I’m in love!”

Sociology 7.02, Emotion and Culture – Spend a quarter focusing on finally getting over your ex, controlling your anger via Yik-Yak venting and getting through the end of “The Notebook” with minimal tears. Once you’ve mastered emotion, read The New Yorker for your final examination on culture.

Caroline Berens, The Dartmouth Staff