Hello, nervous freshman. I presume you are reading this because you are a member of Dartmouth’s Class of 2018. Congratulations.
Soon, you will be arriving in Hanover. And before you know it, you’ll be shaking hands with hundreds of people, smiling and nodding while secretly trying to discern exactly what “just outside the city” means. How far outside — and which city? You will not receive an answer to that question but, soon enough, you will have more pressing concerns. You and your newfound friends will be going to fraternities in less than two months, sipping the Kool-Aid — I mean, Keystone — and wondering what exactly this whole “Dartmouth” thing is really about.
When my mother and I drove up to Hanover almost two years ago, I wondered the same thing. I remember being mildly nauseous, but energized and excited at the same time. I worked my ass off to get into Dartmouth, and I would finally enjoy the reward for that hard work. I felt a sense of accomplishment and, better yet, a sense of anticipation for accomplishments to come.
Now it’s sophomore summer, and I’m halfway through my Dartmouth career. I’ve used this milestone as a chance to reflect. Looking back, I notice one recurring theme in these past two years: mistakes. Whether it be the relatively inconsequential, like the time that I bought the wrong Econ 1 textbook, lost my receipt and ended up “making it work,” or significant, like the decision to rush — twice, might I add — despite my longstanding aversion to and disdain for the Greek system.
But the biggest mistake was to lose myself. When I first arrived, I was going through a personally difficult time in my life, which was compounded by my mother’s cancer diagnosis halfway through my freshman year. My confidence and motivation were severely compromised, but my expectations were still incredibly high. I was paralyzed by fear of failure but too depressed to avoid it. Instead, I allowed others to dictate my life for me.
Dartmouth will push you in many directions, and you will want to resist some of them. It’s up to you to push back. If you’re smart, as many Dartmouth students are, you’ll figure out quickly that there is no singular “Dartmouth experience.” However, you may not be as cognizant of the particularly distorted lens through which Dartmouth students view the world. For many, going Greek is a symbol of status, going into finance is the ultimate achievement and going out three nights a week is an expectation.
Soon, you’ll find yourself in the distinctly manic rhythm of a Dartmouth term, but don’t let yourself get swept away entirely. You’re going to be faced with new challenges and demands, and no, you won’t be able to handle them all gracefully at first. From the fast-paced academic calendar to the hegemonic social structure, it is easy to get caught up in what appears to be the Dartmouth way of life — a set of expectations so deeply ingrained in the fibers of this institution that many of us neglect to question them. Question them.
In a place that promotes such a narrow path and a myopic worldview, it is easy to lose one’s way. I have learned that the happiest students are not the smartest or the most popular but the ones who seek to change themselves in ways that they can be not only comfortable with but proud of — and there’s no formula for that.
Set aside time for introspection and self-evaluation because you’ll regret it if you don’t. Dartmouth is a wild, nerve-wracking ride. But Dartmouth should never consume you — it should only enhance you. Don’t lose sight of yourself along the way. You will never have this much freedom again, so use it wisely. College is one of the most important formative experiences of your life. You should strive to grow, push yourself and become the person you aspire to be. That vision may change, but the responsibility is yours, and yours alone, to ensure that you are moving in a direction that you can be proud of — whatever that direction may be.
