Loyal readers, real spring in the Northeast is finally upon us and you all know what that means: 50 degree temperature changes, puddles in places that defy both logic and gravity, Red Sox baseball, the Bruins in the playoffs and, most importantly, a sport we can all participate in: Marathon Monday in Boston.
Given our obvious connections and undying allegiance to all things Boston, Freddie and I felt particularly inclined to focus on running this week. Well, that and my mom reminded me that I need to fit into the work clothes I purchased last year or buy new suits. Ergo, we saw the immediate need to run, and to run a substantial distance.
However, upon a quick Wikipedia search behind the specifics of a marathon, we realized a true course is 26.2 miles, and to quote a great hero of mine, “I’m not trying to be the best at exercising” (Kenny Powers, for those of you without the staple of any college experience — access to HBO).
At that moment, we set out to find pretty much any excuse possible to avoid running such a distance. It was at this point that we looked at our blitz and saw the map of routes from the Dartmouth Endurance Racing Team. So, thinking that The Dartmouth would reimburse us for the $2 (or one margarita at Molly’s, depending on how you view the concept of money) we had to fork over for the map, we bought it and tried to think of ways to create a challenge that was both conducive to our needs and would get by the editors without too much pushback.
We settled on the Rip Road route, running a 3.5 mile circuit to measure our pace. We would then see how that would stake up to the rest of the field.
The preparation was pretty simple. We read in a marathon training book that on the morning of the race, you should eat waffles and peanut butter early in the morning, find places to pack in as many of those energy gel things as you can, carry around a lot of water bottles in funny places and — of course — wear really short shorts. So we did that every day. To some of us, every day is race day.
Other than that, physical preparation was pretty much the same as every week — eat whatever we wanted at FoCo (double desserts because we earned it) and drink blue Powerade alongside every meal without exception. At the gym, we took leg day off (with the obvious exception of our calves), spent a grand total of 25 minutes on the elliptical, worked our biceps a lot and then spent an equal amount of time in the sauna.
Originally, we scheduled our run for Tuesday at noon, but because conditions did not feel right when we woke up at 1 p.m., we decided to move it to Thursday. So we set out east first so we could knock out the hill before we got really tired on the way back.
Anyone who has ever tried to take Rip Road knows what I am talking about with this hill. Even though you know it’s coming, it still gets you every time. The all-time worst is that after you think you are out of it, there is a slight uphill that just throws that last punch. We pushed through and were actually making pretty good time. We came down Rip Road onto the golf course and made the obligatory comments on how it would only be like a week or two tops before the course opens and then we could stop going to Fore-U — where we made our livings skipping the driving range, getting a lot of ice cream and playing putt-putt.
After that it was pretty much smooth sailing into the finish. We are not going to go into which of us won the race because these details are not important. Our average finish time, though, was just south of 28 minutes doorstep to doorstep, putting us at 209.6 minutes (around three and a half hours) for the marathon. Based on our age, we would not have even qualified, let alone beat some of the current Dartmouth students gearing up for the race Monday (here we go, C.J. Pierce ’14). But, as you know, we are qualitative people who aren’t confined by “numbers” or “time limits” or “rules.” Marathon Runners: 1, Legends: 0.5.
So we dropped another one. I think at this point, it’s safe to say that we might not accomplish our goal of breaking even, but we have to at least try and save face. Tune in next week as we take on the Dartmouth table tennis team in a match-up that will hopefully get me the last PE credit I need to graduate.
