By this point in the term, all anyone wants is to go home. Winter Carnival is a distant memory, finals loom ahead and it’s still bitterly cold without a hint of sunshine. I know my stress levels have been exorbitantly high — and judging by the tired faces I’ve seen around the library and groans I’ve heard in the KAF line, I am not alone.
When I get overwhelmed, an irrational but persuasive part of me suggests that I indulge in less than ideal behavior. I turn to marathon HBO Go sessions, binge-shopping online at Free People and grabbing that extra large bottle of Barefoot Wine at CVS. Whatever I have to do — study for an exam, write an op-ed or simply finish my readings — seems so insurmountable that I feel I might as well just throw in the towel and go out with a bang: well dressed, well educated (on “Girls”) and, well, drunk. I might as well do something enjoyable since the ship is sinking anyway.
I would like to believe that I’m not the only person on campus who has these strategies for coping with stress. What’s worse is that I don’t actually feel any better afterward. I might have passed a few hours happily, but then I’m only more stressed, as I realize those were hours that I could have spent chipping away at work. I’m so overtired, hungover or plain sleep-deprived that I do a subpar job when I finish my work. I actually could have done all my work if I’d just tackled even a small portion of it (which didn’t disappear despite my mini-vacation).
But I almost feel like that is my goal. If I can get even a little bit of work done after not having slept, that’s an accomplishment. On the other hand, if I sit down to study and don’t get everything done, I feel like a failure. I wonder if my destructive behavior really shows a fear of inadequacy.
I surveyed some of my friends the other day, and a few of them admitted to suffering the same twisted psychology. If they wait five hours before the deadline to write a paper, they are proud to have completed it at all and happily take their grades, good or bad. But if they gave their full effort and didn’t do as well as they wanted, what would that say about the grades? It might reveal some intellectual inadequacy — a big fat F for failure.
I’m concerned about this fear of failure. I’m concerned about my (and others’) harmful “coping” strategies. I’m envious of the people on campus who can go to the gym to relieve stress and allot their time so that an all-nighter isn’t necessary. I wonder if they are confident enough in their abilities to give their work an honest effort instead of delaying it until the last minute just to bang out something underwhelming.
In the last few weeks of winter, take care of yourself. Choose sleep over Netflix, studying over drinking and coffee with a friend over Facebook. Look ahead at your assignments now so you’re not blindsided when finals come. Take a look at how you cope with stress and ask yourself if these things actually help. Have the confidence to put your best effort into your work instead of just scraping by. If stress is really getting to you, make a to-do list and tackle one thing at a time instead of falling into any self-destructive behavior. It’s easy to forget about taking care of ourselves when everyone else seems to prioritize other things, but it really is crucial to look out for our own well-being.
I know this isn’t any new or revolutionary information, but it’s a reminder that I really could have used last week and will most certainly need as the term finally ends.
