Over the interim, my mother asked me, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” She was referring to my post-college plans. Now, in light of five Panhellenic Council executives’ decision to boycott winter rush, I have been thinking about this question in a whole new context — reflecting on my experience with Greek life.
When I came to college, I was afraid. After spending my childhood feeling like I didn’t fit in, my worst fear was being weird. I wanted to take college by storm. I was going to have the quintessential Dartmouth experience: hiking mountains, acing my classes and drinking ‘til dawn four nights a week. For the first time in my life, I was going to be normal. After arriving on campus, it became clear to me that what I thought constituted being a “normal” Dartmouth student did not come naturally to me. I need eight hours of sleep on a regular schedule, and I could barely keep up with my bike and hike first-year trip, let alone climb mountains.
Still insecure of my ability to fit in at Dartmouth, I entered sophomore year determined to join a sorority. I had a few friends suggesting that I join their coed houses, but I was determined to go the standard route and join a single-sex organization. I wanted to go to tails, formals and sisterhood bonding events, things that I believed were staples of a real Dartmouth experience. The coeds were weird, I thought, and I was over that phase of my life. However, a fortuitous evening spent hanging out at Alpha Theta after the second day of women’s rush foiled my quest for “normalcy.” While I played board games with some acquaintances by a roaring fire, I found myself feeling at home in a way that I had not felt during single-sex rush.
I dropped out of women’s rush that night, and the rest is history. I’ve made incredible friends, gone on great adventures and have not once regretted stepping out of mainstream Dartmouth social life. Saying goodbye to what I believed to be the “perfect” Dartmouth experience was scary, but I have gained so much more from getting over my fear of being weird than I would have chasing the illusion of the “normal” Dartmouth experience.
I admire the women of the Panhellenic Council who have done what many others on our campus are too afraid to do by standing up for their beliefs and putting their names to a much-needed critique of the standard Greek experience. Rather than perpetuating a flawed system, they have chosen to take a stand. This is a chance for others in our community to do the same. I would like to take advantage of that chance. As the president of the Coeducational Council, I believe in the importance of non-gendered social spaces on our campus. I have heard the same sentiment from many others as well — some unaffiliated, some in single-sex Greek houses. I ask that if you believe that there should be more coeducational social spaces on campus, you honor that belief and join a coeducational fraternity.
There are many benefits to a coed Greek experience. Want to join a house with all of your friends, not just those that identify as the same gender as you? You can. Don’t feel comfortable conforming to a strict gender label? Not a problem. Worried about being able to afford membership fees? All of our houses have financial aid policies that can reduce dues to nothing (or close to it). Don’t believe in exclusive social spaces? Half of our houses have open membership.
It can be scary to make decisions that other people think are weird or abnormal. But don’t join a sorority just because you are afraid of not fitting in. Don’t join a fraternity just because you are afraid of being weird. Join an organization because you believe it adds something positive to your life and to campus. Become part of something because you believe in it. It may be one of the best decisions of your life.
Abigail Bard '14 is the president of the Coeducational Council.
