We got off to a rocky start. Before even getting to our destination, the gas light was on, our phones had no service and we’d pulled several u-turns. Returning to Hanover without leaving the car crossed our minds. But, just as our last bit of positive energy almost dissipated, we stumbled upon the Great Vermont Corn Maze. We arrived just in time, and it was well worth the journey.
We set out in the wee hours of the morning, 9:30 a.m. After a few games of I Spy (roadkill version) and many a retort about our mutual mourning of the loss of sandwiches at King Arthur Flour, we cruised off the highway and onto the back roads of Vermont, also known as the pre-maze. Profanities flowed from our mouths like pumpkin vines as we attempted to coax a simple “turn left” or “turn right” out of the GPS. Finally, when all seemed lost, our British navigator perked up her metaphorical head and directed us toward the maze. Never had anyone been so excited to see corn.
While the maze we completed was halfway to Canada, other Dartmouth students recently headed west to attempt the Hathway Farms maze in Rutland. Each year, the maze has a different theme, and this year it was Gettysburg. The maze asked Civil War questions at many intersections to point students in the right direction.
“That was interesting to add some historical twist to it,” Veronica Burt ’16 said, though she acknowledged that the questions were obscure and that her group googled most of them.
Our maze turned out to be alien-themed, and awaiting us at the entrance was the owner, an energetic if slightly exasperated middle-aged man. The first thing he wanted to know was whether we were teenagers. Now normally that sounds creepy coming from a man his age, but before we could slowly inch away from him he launched into an impassioned spiel on the topic of teenagers in the maze. As it states on the maze’s website, in all caps no less, 90 percent of teenagers abandon the maze within the first 20 minutes. Go ahead, he warned us, pay your $15, see what happens. I wanted to point out that, as some of us were 20 years old, we were obviously capable of enduring the maturity-testing perils within the maze. We had, after all, seen the fourth Harry Potter movie. If scrawny, bespectacled Harry could get out of a maze, so could we. Also, where was the data to back up his claims? He had no stopwatch and no control group, so how was this statistic to be believed? These questions and others remained unanswered, though we did learn that the quickest anyone had ever solved the maze was in 53 minutes. As Barney Stinson would say, challenge accepted.
Fresh off a caffeine high, we entered the maze alongside a gaggle of children. Being the worldly Dartmouth students we are, we made it our mission to beat their butts and complete the maze first. Four paths stood ahead of us: eeny, meeny, miney and moe. We opted for meeny. We opted wrong.
What seemed like a few hundred miles into the maze we realized we might be going in circles and might be far from the “bell of success” that signaled a successful finish. Then we heard it, the loud clear ring of the bell of… frustration. Yes, there was a decoy bell, one we ran toward with great fervor. It was at this point we decided no more Mr. Nice Scarecrow. We began cheating, or as we liked to call it, “bushwhacking,” through corn to get to paths that looked more promising. We even turned on the app “Map My Run” to ensure that we would not retrace our steps. We were desperate women and weren’t apologizing for it. The view from a small bridge proved to us that not only did the maze contain oddities such as half sunk fishing boats and space ships, but that it was much bigger than we had anticipated. Still we journeyed on, up the hill, through a few circles, when what to our wondering eyes should appear but the bell of success. We took turns ringing the glorious thing, lauding our victory over the munchkins.
Those at Hathway Farms found success too, finishing the maze and (occasionally) resisting the temptation to bushwhack through the thinning corn.
“Since it’s so late in the season, some of the corn [was] dying and we could see through so it made it easier,” Reza Djavid ’16 said.
Back at the Great Vermont Corn Maze, we stood atop the hill admiring the scenery, noting how perfect the spot would be for a marriage proposal if it weren’t for the frustration of the maze below. Red and gold trees saluted us as we descended to the petting zoo and then the front desk.
“We made it out in just an hour!” we bragged to the owner. He seriously doubted it and had us trace our route on the map of the maze. Turns out, the goal of the maze had not been to find the bell of success but to traverse every quadrant of the maze on a specific route. Had we neglected to listen to Miley? Had we forgotten that “it ain’t about how fast I get there/ it ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side”? Had we really forgotten that it’s all about the climb? Yes, yes we had. For us it was all about the bell of success.
But more realistically, one of us had a class to get back to. The Great Vermont Corn Maze is officially closed for the season and won’t reopen until next August, leaving us plenty of time to reflect on its implications great and small.
Next year we’ll bring a lunch, as the owner suggested, and do it right.
Regardless of what corn maze you visit, any student who goes to one will undoubtedly agree that visiting a corn maze is the perfect fall activity.
“The drive was gorgeous,” Michael Perlstein ’14 said. “Not being on campus is really fun. You can escape for a while.”
Burt echoed this sentiment and added that, being from Los Angeles, doing a corn maze was a new activity for her.
““Where I’m from fall doesn’t have all these celebrations and festivities associated with it,” she said.
And perhaps best of all, corn mazes are a great time to get closer with friends outside of Dartmouth. You may want to kill them once you get lost, but eventually it will only make your connection stronger.
“The best part was the bonding experience, when you’re walking and there aren’t any clues,” Burt said.
Whether you do it for the glory, the fresh air or simply to get off campus, corn mazes are a fantastic way to experience New England in the fall. Cheat or don’t cheat; go all day or just for a few hours; spend time with one friend or 20. It might sound corny, but it’s all good.
