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The Dartmouth
May 6, 2026
The Dartmouth
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Top 5 Facebook Statuses to Announce the Apocalypse

  1. Everyone is making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
  2. So far this apocalypse is off to a slow start. I cannot believe i shaved for this.
  3. I never liked you guys anyway.
  4. I hope the end of the world is just like the movies. me and jake gyllenhaal burning books in a library. with wolves.
  5. Woah, guys, was that a tremor? did i just feel a tremor? i'm in the stacks so i'm not sure but I'm pretty sure that was a tremor. did you feel it? is this it? did we both feel it? i felt a tremor!

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