Many have been quick to criticize professor Richard Denton's recent tirade against the current "epidemic" of sexually transmitted diseases as a means of imposing his conservative agenda regarding sex onto students ("Sex and Responsibility," Oct. 18). Becca Rothfeld declared in her most recent column that "it is ludicrous to assert that the only respectful relationships are permanent and monogamous ones" ("Prescriptive Paternalism," Oct. 22). Rothfeld, of course, is right. There are sexual partners outside of permanent and monogamous relationships who truly respect one another. But Rothfeld refuses to acknowledge that such a scenario is often the exception rather than the rule; respect for the feelings of another and respect for oneself are often absent in sexual interactions. In trying to defend sexual freedom, Rothfeld overlooks the reality of what she sarcastically labels "the toxic hook-up culture'" here at Dartmouth.
How often have we encountered the friend who, sitting beside us at a table in FoCo on a Saturday morning, cringes at the hook-up escapades that he or she engaged in the night before? And how often have we ourselves been that person? Rothfeld mocks Denton's insistence that casual sex promotes in students feelings of "worry, regret, guilt and loss of self-esteem." She counters that these emotions "are risks associated with any social interaction." Is sex really just any social interaction? Of course not. In sexual interactions, we are much more vulnerable. While praised as a "casual physical release," a sexual encounter can often come back to haunt us. It could have been embarrassing, could have been awkward, could have sent the wrong message, could invite negative judgments from our peers and, as Denton points out, could cause harm to our bodies in the form of STDs or even unwanted pregnancies.
Why do we even have casual sex? Sure, for some it truly represents the opportunity for a physical release and no more than that. But there are many underlying motives that compel us to have casual sex. Some people may feel a sense of accomplishment as they rack up more and more sexual encounters. Some may feel that having sex with someone is a way to get that person to like them. Some may feel that having sex confirms their desirability. Some may feel that having sex grants them a sort of emotional liberation. And some may feel that having sex is simply what they're supposed to do in college and that it will somehow bring them normalcy and happiness.
Casual sex, evidently, can be engaged in as a means of obtaining something other than a moment of simple physical satisfaction. It often, as the aforementioned motives suggest, leads us to feel good about ourselves because we've conformed to some societal standard and supposedly won the approval of others. Yet the validity of that fulfillment can be questionable. Can we really build meaningful self-esteem if our worth is determined by the judgments of others?
I disagree with many aspects of Denton's column. He implies that women do not have the same sexual needs as men, insists that marriage should be every individual's ultimate goal and advocates abstinence as the best way to be physically and emotionally well. Rothfeld is absolutely correct in her conclusion that "there is no correct answer when it comes to the question of romantic orientation." Our sex lives are very much ours to determine and to control. Yet I still recognize the validity of Denton's assertion that casual sex can often be harmful to our physical and emotional well-being.
Occidental College sociology professor Lisa Wade, who has conducted many surveys concerning college hook-up culture, said during a lecture at Dartmouth in the spring that 70 percent of female students and 73 percent of male students surveyed wanted committed relationships ("Wade discusses pitfalls of hook-ups," March 30). She asserted that "sexual expression outside the realm of typical hook-ups" is often prevented by the dominant hook-up culture and that "relationships, same-sex exploration, abstinence and feminist sex are not discussed nearly as freely." Considering what is evidently an overwhelming desire for monogamy among college students, it becomes important to examine why it is that we choose to or choose not to engage in the hook-up culture here at Dartmouth. While some choices may be fulfilling, some choices may only be superficially so. We must ask ourselves what actually makes us happy while maintaining respect for the choices of others.
