We often talk about Dartmouth's tight-knit community, and yet this same community can seem overwhelmingly large at times. For every friend that we run into eight times in a day, there's also that cool person we want to get to know better but don't end up seeing again for a month.
Club sports teams, Greek houses and other campus organizations make it easier to feel like you have a place somewhere. But even then, how close can you really be to someone when you suddenly have 30 new teammates or over 100 new sisters or brothers? Bigs and littles are a way for new members to feel like they have a real connection to a new organization, whether it's a Greek house or not.
"In large houses, it's hard to get to know everyone," Panhellenic Council President Sarah Wildes '13 said. "The purpose of it is to have a more personalized relationship with someone that you can immediately go to when you join the house."
But systems like this exist even outside of fraternities and sororities. The women's rugby team, for example, has instituted a similar system, pairing each upperclassman with a younger player.
"As a freshman, you're pumped when someone older talks to you," team member Sandi Caalim '13 said. "There's a difference between being on a team versus setting up a relationship with an individual."
Of course, there is still the case that you have a real, biological brother or sister here, which can be a built-in resource to meet and feel connected to more people and this can extend to feeling more connected to one's organization. Eli Derrow '15 and Sean Derrow '13 are both members of Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity, meaning they're brothers in more ways than one. Eli Derrow said that having a brother in the house definitely made his social life a lot easier at Dartmouth.
"Sean introduced me to different brothers, but there were others that I introduced myself to and they assumed I was Sean's brother because we looked alike," Eli Derrow said.
Of course, that poses the question: What kind of influence does this have on pulling siblings into a Greek house?
"There are certain legacy policies that nationals have so that if you have a legacy in a sorority, you have special privileges and are automatically asked back to a certain round," Wildes said.
Policies vary from house to house, and even within those that have strong pulls for legacy members, the new member still has to be a good fit for the house.
"The chapter still has autonomy within that process," Wildes said. "You don't automatically get in because you're a legacy."
And certainly, that's the way siblings want it to be, as was the case for brothers Max Hunter '13 and Cameron Hunter '15 who are also both members of Sig Ep.
"Legacy isn't taken into account at all," Max Hunter said. "It was important that he was treated as an individual."
For biological siblings, there's something about being in the same house that brings them even closer together, according to Sean Derrow.
"We can share more experiences now because I do a lot of stuff with my brothers, and now Eli's a part of that," Sean Derrow said. "I don't have to split my time between my real brother and my frat brothers."
Still, as with any siblings, there exists the desire to chart one's own path.
"The point has never been to pretend we're not related," Max Hunter said. "But it's like, OK, we're brothers great. Have fun and do your own thing."
Non-biological big-little pairings created through organizations can also feel like a family sans the feeling that you have to chart separate paths.
"There are two kinds of family the kind you're born into and the kind you find," Caalim said of the families she has found through bigs and littles both in her sorority, Kappa Delta Epsilon, and on the rugby team. "It isn't just that you're an older person it's that now we're part of a family, and you don't have to feel afraid."
The same has been true for Shianne Sebastian '13 with her big and little in Alpha Phi sorority.
"My little has become like a little sister to me," Sebastian said. "She knows my entire family, and my little sister and cousin are always asking about her."
Indeed, big-little pairings can feel even more like close family because rather than looking for ways to chart their own paths and create separate identities, the siblings are looking for ways to spend more time together and feel even more like family.
"I go overboard for my littles because I love them," Caalim said.
There's something to be said for having the kind of connection on campus where you feel like you're deeply a part of something and in reality, these connections often happen more for non-siblings than for biological siblings. Go figure!
