When I was younger, a sleepover with a friend always felt like a blessing from the gods. To prepare, I would begin to eagerly concoct plans in anticipation. Despite my excitement, I always faced this magical night of fun and games with a certain sense of trepidation and anxiety what if I wet the bed? Unknowingly confess my deepest, darkest secret during a random bout of sleep talking? Had some freaky-deaky nightmare? While the length of possible sleepover mishaps was extensive, the nights usually went fine, mainly due to the fact that sleepovers were not too frequent. Living with someone at college, however, is the exact opposite of occasional. It is constant, it is intense and it can very suddenly escalate from great to horrendous.
The truth of the matter is that people are weird. We all have our fair share of peculiar habits and strange rituals and little secrets that are best known solely by our moms and dads and siblings. No matter how intimate a friendship, a certain level of distance is commonly essential to serve as a slight buffer for our quirks and annoying qualities.
"Living with someone means you'll see and experience everything you could possibly dislike or hate about that person, especially when sharing a relatively small space such as a dormitory room," Chris Carvounis '15 said.
In living together, friends may learn a thing or two about one another that they do not necessarily need to know. This loss of complete privacy is often self-induced and can lead to animosity and resentment.
As Carvounis acknowledged, rooming together leads to conflict between cohabitants, spawning annoyances that can prove detrimental to a relationship. He remarked that the stakes are even higher in a living situation between two close friends.
"Your expectations for how perfect' and amazing' it will be to live with your best friend are probably high," he said. "So falling out with that person would mean losing your roommate and friend."
That ominous question of, What if something happens and we don't stay friends?' rings loud and true. A friendship does not necessarily exist between two people of perfectly complementary personalities, and being forced to incessantly spend time can be overwhelming.
"Some people are meant to be great friends and turn out to be horrible roommate," Annie Fagan '15 said. "I've known friendships that have taken a pretty bad beating because two people decided they wanted to live together."
Taking such a gamble on a friendship when it is avoidable in the first place is dangerous. While conflicts may revolve around minor issues and "small stuff," as Fagan said, a buildup of 10 weeks worth of arguments can cause irreversible damage.
Finally, there is always the issue of having overlapping love interests.
"Hooking up with the same guy as your roommate and not knowing about it would be pretty awkward, especially because you always have to be together," Jessica Venturino '15 said.
I, for one, would not like to stumble into my room to discover my cute new crush getting frisky in my roommate's bed. That also most definitely would not have happened during those 1990s sleepovers.
So even if you and your other half have been dreaming about the wondrous fortress that will become your room, maybe you should reevaluate your decision. A dorm is no more than a random conglomeration of beds, awkward tapestries, too many photos, a desk you never use and an excess of clothing that you probably don't even like. But to all of you who are rooming with your close friends may the odds be ever in your favor.
