A great professor of mine once said that in order to truly be a mature person, you must learn to stop dichotomizing, idealizing and demonizing groups of people. This is a hard lesson for most people to wrap their heads around, for we all want to draw boundaries between good and bad. This is simply how the human mind works. For example, in the United States, we all want to say that communism and socialism are bad and that capitalism is the solution to all problems. We want to say that someone is either hard-working and successful or lazy and poor. At Dartmouth, we say that someone is either fratty or nerdy, an athlete or a non-athlete, a KDE or a KD, crunchy or not crunchy. It is through this method of dichotomization that we quickly categorize groups of people without having to think too hard, so that we can immediately pass judgments and move on with our lives.
Sometimes, we try to use these generalizations and dichotomizations of groups for good things, which is often done when addressing sexual assault. However, instead of leading to social change, making generalizations to create action actually prevents anything productive from happening.
There are many wonderful programs during V-Week at Dartmouth to raise awareness about the problem of sexual assault on campus, and many of these programs make an effort to offer pragmatic perspectives on sexual assault.
However, some individuals involved with V-Week and other past programs have targeted messages about sexual assault only at males, asking men why they have not stood with females on this issue and urging males to join the seemingly unified group of females standing up for the cause. It is when people make these generalizations that men are the perpetrators and women are the victims that they are simplifying the problem through their dichotomizations and not providing any useful solutions.
Now, before I continue, let me be clear. I am speaking from the perspective of a Dartmouth woman who has been sexually assaulted. I see the need for sexual assault prevention and a shift in thinking about the social culture as much as, if not more than, anyone. But I strongly believe that we must take a new approach to addressing sexual assault that unifies, rather than divides, men and women.
Placing all blame on men for sexual assault at Dartmouth is ignoring the complexity of the situation. It is immature, to put it in the words of my professor. Dartmouth culture propagates an atmosphere in which men and women are encouraged to drink copious amounts of alcohol and then socialize. But the places where most women go to socialize are, of course, the houses controlled by men. This then encourages a misogynist, male-dominated atmosphere in which women must hover over slimy bar tops or beg for a game of pong, waiting to be noticed by the "bro" in control who is busily guzzling Keystones. I don't know about you, but to me this already sounds like a recipe for disaster and for sexual assault.
But the problem extends beyond the fraternities. The sororities are supposed to provide safe social spaces where women can have control and be free from the threats of assault. But what do sororities actually do? Indeed, they too encourage women to drink copious amounts of alcohol and go to fraternities. A friend of mine had a recent experience in a sorority where she was hazed during a pre-Masters tournament and was not taken to Dick's House by her sisters or helped by most of them even though she was blacked out and throwing up for 10 hours. She could have easily been assaulted during that time. She was still sick for her midterm the next day, and when she showed up at meetings two days later, instead of apologizing, the president of her house actually made fun of her in front of the rest of the house for not being able to hold her alcohol.
Men are not the only demons here. Surprise! Women can be demons too! In fact, women are continuing to propagate this culture that puts them at risk by drinking heavily, hazing each other and throwing themselves drunkenly into frat basements. I am going to propose a radical idea that I know most Dartmouth students will find unsightly. This idea is that the best way to stop sexual assault is to actually meet people outside of sororities, outside of fraternities and form meaningful relationships that do not need to be sustained by alcohol. If we had more parties that consisted of true friends hanging out, maybe having a few beers and genuinely enjoying each other's company instead of relying solely on the hazing, heavy drinking, single-sex dominated establishments that control the campus, then I guarantee there would be less sexual assault at Dartmouth.
We need to stop saying that all men are bad while simultaneously ignoring the problems in our own sororities. I am a feminist who believes that we need to stop sexual assault not by making the rift between men and women bigger, but by reminding us that we are the same. Male or female, we are all part of the problem and need to be a part of the solution.
