As French writer Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr once wrote, "The more things change, the more they stay the same." The literary tradition's unfortunate encouragement of toxic relationships is a prime example of this. Popular culture across the centuries has been littered with unhealthy romantic entanglements. From Greek mythology to 21st century teen literature, the romanticization of unhealthy relationships has remained a troubling constant throughout the ages, with deeply disturbing implications for normative standards of "proper" female expectations in romantic relationships. Moreover, the persistence of this paradigm may be linked to the perpetuation of men's subjugation of the female sex.
Even in the supposedly gender-enlightened 21st century, Western girls' introduction to dysfunctional relationships begins at a young age. In 1991, Disney released the animated film "Beauty and the Beast," based on a French fairy tale of the same name. Even in the sterilized, supposedly kid-safe Disney world, the Beast mistreats Beauty, forbidding his servants Lumiere, Mrs. Potts, Chip and Cogsworth to feed her when she turns down his invitation to dinner, screaming and smashing furniture when she fails to please him during her forced residence in his castle. In a sequel entitled "Beauty and the Beast: Enchanted Christmas," detailing the Christmas during Beauty's enforced stay in the castle, the Beast also throws her into the dungeon when he believes she has left the castle grounds against his will.
Inexplicably, these movies both end with Beauty declaring her love for the Beast. Such saccharine endings the stuff of cookie-cutter fantasy lend little dignity to the female lead. To have Beauty, who could easily be construed as a battered woman, return to the Beast after such brutal treatment sends a poor message to the impressionable five and six-year-olds who watch these movies. A documentary showed a disturbing informal post-viewing survey of young audiences of "Beauty and the Beast" in which every girl surveyed said she, too, would have stayed with the Beast. While these children were admittedly too young to understand the true implications of abuse, one cannot help but wonder: What lessons about loving relationships do movies such as "Beauty and the Beast" ingrain upon impressionable young minds?
Even more shocking, however, than six-year-olds who would choose to stay with an abusive Beast are the hordes of girls who profess their love for Edward Cullen, the vampire lead in Stephenie Meyer's mega-popular "Twilight" series. Although his relationship with clumsy heroine Bella Swan is presented as a "modern vampire love story," there is a darker undertone to their courtship. Throughout the series, Edward makes breathtakingly possessive declarations of love toward Bella, attempts to deprive her of her friendship with the werewolf Jacob Black whom he begins to perceive as a romantic rival and strong-arms her into capitulating on sundry issues ranging from prom to marriage. In short, Edward is the dominant force in their relationship, directing both its pace and trajectory.
Popular depictions and acceptance of unhealthy fictional relationships must be considered an important contributor to the persistence of the female under-class that has plagued humanity since the birth of civilization. When popular culture insists on legitimizing abusive relationships, it becomes more likely that women who find themselves in these situations will stay in them, not necessarily out of love, but rather out of a misguided belief instilled in them through popular culture that abuse is somehow acceptable, or even inherent, in a loving relationship.
With that said, the natural question emerges: How should we, as a society, address harmful popular representations of toxic romances? I do not advocate for censorship, as a blanket ban on all films and literature glorifying unhealthy relationships would necessarily rob society of innumerable great works. We should not stifle the freedom of artists, writers and directors. Instead, we should take full advantage of the fruits of their creative labors by capitalizing upon the persistence of popular depictions of bad relationships as an opportunity to discuss the reality of what they depict. In stripping away the starry-eyed veneer of romantic idealism to reveal the ugly foundations of manipulation, physical damage and psychological trauma that insinuate themselves into unequal relationships, we can dismantle their validity.
