If I had it my way, Holly Flax (Amy Ryan) would have instead stolen away Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) of "How I Met Your Mother" to Colorado, leaving Michael Scott (Steve Carrell) to continue flourishing in "The Office." Both shows are approaching their demise, although "The Office" could have carried on had Carrell not ditched his Dunder Mifflin employees in search of some comedic Zion that he clearly hasn't found yet.
Andy Bernard (Ed Helms), now the regional manager, once existed as a testament to the hilarity that surely ensues when an Ivy League a cappella bro is thrown into the real world and the real economy. Now, his character is a slobbery disappointment, bereft of pithy one-liners in favor of drawn out parental confrontations better-suited to "Gilmore Girls."
The relationship between Jim (John Krasinski) and Pam (Jenna Fischer), a cornerstone of the mockumentary series, is getting stale. I get the feeling that when they're not being documented, they spoon in bed, watch "The View" and have midlife existential crises of a caliber that only a Sam Mendes film could capture. I miss the days when Karen Philipelli (Rashida Jones), Jim's ex, was strutting around Scranton with glossy hair and tailored pantsuits that put Hilary Clinton to shame.
At this point, Ricky Gervais must be sticking pins in Carell voodoo dolls and praying to Morrissey or some other British god that the love triangle between Gabe (Zach Woods), Erin (Ellie Kemper) and Andy will pull the show out of its lull. My theory: Gabe is the Scranton Strangler. He's tall enough and his arms are just lanky enough for suffocating perfection. His unhealthy obsession with Italian salutations suggests links to the mob (this is Pennsylvania, after all) and his Halloween documentary, "Do Yes Disturb: Meditations of Horror," was too real. If Toby's (Paul Lieberstein) proclamation at the end of Michael Scott's last Dundies holds true, then the convicted Scranton Strangler was indeed the wrong man.
Despite handling Dunder Mifflin's regime shift less than gracefully, the new corporate frontman, Robert California (James Spader) makes for an interesting fresh face. If "The Office" degenerates as quickly or sadistically as "Secretary" (2002), Spader's last effort at playing boss, then Erin might have more to be afraid of than her ex-boyfriend Gabe.
A few hours away in the Big Apple, Ted Mosby and friends are drinking away the demise of their show at Murphy's. Or at least I hope they got the memo. The problem with "How I Met Your Mother" is its longevity. While I truly believe "The Office" could have carried on grandly for all of eternity (or at least held on until Mitchell Hurwitz revives "Arrested Development") had Carell not pulled an Amelia Earhart and flown into oblivion, "How I Met Your Mother" is a show that never could have lasted, simply because of the timeline imposed by its premise.
Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) is essentially the Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) of this New York ensemble comedy. The Scranton beet farmer might be far from a Don Juan though his fourth season wedding antics begged to differ but Stinson and Schrute share the charisma and strength that make them unique enough characters to continue carrying a show long past its due date. Despite Harris' continually stellar performances, Ted Mosby has only become more of a repetitive, asinine douche bag with a penchant for skyscrapers (hello phallic fixation!)
In the same way that I long for the days when Jim and Pam had legitimate tension beyond a 10-minute quarrel at the Christmas party, I yearn for Robin (Cobie Smulders) to re-emerge in "How I Met Your Mother" as the hauntingly precise friend-zoned Girl That Got Away. Now, Lily (Alyson Hannigan) and Marshall (Jason Segel) are caricatures of their former selves, Robin has become far less central to the storyline, and the cupcake fairy of sunshine and huge bosoms has returned to wreak havoc on what I hope will be the final season of this played-out show.
