When The Dartmouth published an article about "GREEN: Words to Live By, Words to Drink By, Words to Succeed By," ("Students publish guide to college," May 11) my interest was immediately piqued. "GREEN" editors Austin Bowers '11, Cyrus Akrami '11 and Lyman Missimer '11 promised a "satirical" look at the College's history and culture. So when I received four consecutive and identical blitzes announcing the book's release, I contacted one of the editors to ask whether I could purchase a copy on campus. He replied in the negative and instead sent me a link to the Amazon site. While the cost of $17.69 was an interesting allusion to the College's founding year, the price was rather steep for a 194-page paperback. But assured by the knowledge that 100 percent of the profits would be donated to KIVA, a non-profit microcredit development organization, I ignored my initial misgivings and ordered a copy.
When reading the book, the first thing I noticed was its sloppy editing and layout. The narrative was speckled by numerous grammar and punctuation errors that their Northwestern graduate copy editor should have caught , not to mention spelling mistakes of places that the authors themselves should be aware of (where in the world is "Umpelby's"?).
Parts I-III consisted of the Dartmouth Primer, preparation before coming to Dartmouth, and information regarding student groups, all of which a current student should already know, and much of which can be found online through the official Dartmouth website for incoming students. Part IV, Academics, dished out some hackneyed advice, and included what is sure to be a shallow and controversial table of the "Top 10 Professors" and "Top 10 Distribs."
To be fair, parts V-VIII including freshman dormitories, social life, dining and drinking were irreverently funny chapters and provided some of the most redeeming aspects of "GREEN." The "Archetypes," featuring the stereotypical social cast, was humorously described and drawn. The dining list provided a practical description of the eateries with a touch of scatological humor. The technical rules and illustrations of pong are intricately rendered.
Part IX, focused on Greek life, is most likely to be its most controversial section. The authors acknowledge the frivolity of their subject matter, as they included a disclaimer in the chapter. While this chapter may elicit strong opinions from certain fraternity groups, the descriptions are mostly tame and highlight the history and positive aspects of the Greek system.
While "GREEN" does provide glimpses of humor, the book is ultimately vapid and imperceptive ("We forget what makes this school so traditionally fantastic: the parties"). "GREEN," at best, is novel memorabilia for recent graduates and alumni, quite useless to the typical Dartmouth reader and a substandard resource for incoming freshmen. Instead of buying the book, you'd be better off reading College Humor and donating the $17.69 straight to KIVA.
