Audiences delight as Cowell unhesitatingly pulls out one blistering remark after another. From the clueless fame-seeker clad in a ridiculous costume to the musical theater enthusiast with a powerful voice, no one is safe from Cowell's caustic wit.
Some viewers might argue that "Idol" gains its popularity from tapping into the darker side of human nature the part that secretly craves some good schadenfreude. After all, the excitement that surrounds the show's audition weeks suggests that at least a portion of the audience wants to see the judges rip into the helplessly tone-deaf hopefuls oblivious enough to open themselves up for public humiliation. And what the viewers desire, "Idol" provides in abundance. Right?
Well, call me an optimist if you will, but if "Idol" aspired solely to be where self-esteem goes to die, it could never have become an international phenomenon. Despite its seemingly repetitive nature "Idol" has made only minor changes to its format since it first hit the airwaves in 2002 Simon and crew have consistently topped ratings charts, partly because the show allows millions to vicariously experience a Cinderella story every year.
Sure, harsh critiques and crushed dreams take a front seat during the early phases, when the judges have to wade through hundreds of thousands of contestants of all talent levels and temperaments to find just 24 semifinalists. And audiences are riveted by the outrageous reactions of those who fail in their quest. The unlucky ones often leave in tears or shout expletives on their way out (or both), but they are forgotten as soon as the camera cuts to the beaming stars-to-be who are still in the game.
Once Hollywood Week is over, "Idol" becomes one long makeover show, and our focus shifts from laughing at the worst to rooting for the best. Even the skeptical Cowell gives glowing feedback if the performance deserves it.
The show's voting process which grants the viewers the power to choose who most deserves the record deal and the fairy tale ending at Nokia Theater in May historically has been another big draw for viewers. Fans know that they have a hand in the young singers' fates, and they follow their favorites through the season, supporting them with an almost maternal devotion.
The beauty of the show is that the last-standing Idol is inevitably someone with an ordinary background, like a bartender season seven winner David Cook or a single parent season three winner Fantasia Barrino. Because we see each contestant's progress, we feel as though these singers are more accessible than other celebrities, which perhaps explains the relatively high level of success they achieve in the music industry.
But even if you aren't a loyal viewer of "Idol" like me and just want some entertainment to distract you during your workouts this term, the incentive to watch could be found in the addition of Ellen DeGeneres as a judge. While some "Idol" fans were content that DeGeneres would replace Paula Abdul, the early-September announcement also caused some backlash, especially from Abdul supporters who doubted that DeGeneres had sufficient knowledge of music to contribute to the judging process. But what the comedienne lacks in industry know-how, she makes up for in charm and humor.
Still, some critics, including Michael Slezak, resident "Idol" idolizer at Entertainment Weekly, think that DeGeneres' class-clown tendencies are the crux of the problem as they will most likely serve as an irksome distraction. Slezak, hopefully hyperbolically, said that the news gave him the "sudden urge to drive a fork into my thigh," citing DeGeneres' guest-judge stint on "So You Think You Can Dance" as proof that she is not up to the job.
Whether DeGeneres represents a welcome shake up to the unchanged "Idol" formula or a transparently desperate attempt to recruit new viewers is yet to be seen.
If nothing else, Ellen has proven over the past seven seasons of her talk show that she's got some killer dance moves so hopefully her geeky-cool bopping will make an appearance on "Idol" this season.
So next week, when the judges begin to whittle down all those screaming hopefuls with a slew of carefully chosen euphemisms and metaphors, I will, like many viewers across the country, start wondering who is going to take the ninth crown. Whoever it is, I hope his or her post-"Idol" career doesn't follow the Taylor Hicks track. Poor guy was such an outlier.
The ninth season of "American Idol" premieres on Jan. 12 and Jan. 13 on Fox.
