This scenario happens to every Dartmouth student at least six times a week: You are on your way to meet some friends for dinner at Food Court. Mass Row is completely deserted, the only sound is the crunching of acorns underfoot.
Suddenly, someone you sort-of-kind-of know starts heading your way. You either remember this person's name or you should. At the 30-foot mark, it's decision time. You have three options, and not a whole heck of a lot of time to choose. You can either (a) avert your gaze (i.e. feet, pocket electronics) and pass by without acknowledging this fellow Mass-Rower, (b) make eye contact, smile, nod, mouth "Hey" or (c) stop and chat.
Option (c) seems to be the obvious, friendly choice, and even option (b) is not so bad. Yet, I've noticed that far too often, we are whipping out our iPods to check that our Akon songs are still there, waiting to be played.
Whether this person is an ex-trippee, a guy from your first-year seminar or a hookup you wish you could take back, whether you've met this person in a basement or just spent hours Facebook-stalking him or her, a simple hello can go a long way. Perhaps the person you smile-and-nod at has had a crush on you for months. A hello might make that person's day. Or perhaps this fellow is feeling downright awful (perhaps recently diagnosed with swine flu) and he's looking for some compassion. Is ignoring him really the best personal policy?
I spent this past summer in Ghana, and I learned plenty of things that will not help me be a better member of the Dartmouth community. For instance, a boy taught me that if I ever find myself playing running back for an American football team, I should bathe in the slippery juice of okra so the defense can't tackle me. Useful advice that I'll pass on to our football team (they need it).
As for the things that do apply to living in the Dartmouth community, I learned that in Ghanaian culture, it is customary to greet every passerby. Even perfect strangers.
Each day, on my way to work or to the market, I would be bombarded with hellos, waves, nods, salutes and smiles. I was initially overwhelmed. But the effect these greetings had on my stay in Ghana was profound. Not only did I immediately feel welcomed into the community, but the greetings eventually paved the way for more meaningful relationships to develop.
What I learned from my stay in Ghana, and what I think we can all learn from the Ghanaian people, is that the awkwardness between passersby is a mere illusion. It's a fallacy we've all decided to buy into that prevents us from having meaningful and important interactions with our classmates. Dartmouth is such a small campus that you are guaranteed less than two degrees of separation from that person headed towards you. There is no such thing as a stranger here, and we should all feel comfortable greeting each other without having to worry about being considered weird or creepy.
I am not advocating for a prolonged stop-and-chat with every person on the street. We're all busy people, and stop-and-chat conversations are notoriously unproductive. In fact, I am a strong proponent of reserving stop-and-chats for emergency situations (you need to know the Spanish homework, you just got Parkhursted and need to say goodbye, etc).
Nor am I suggesting we play the overzealous freshman and greet everyone with broad, fake smiles and flamboyant waves. What I am recommending is that we adopt a friendlier attitude to the person walking towards us.
What is the cost of a friendly greeting? A few molecules of oxygen, maybe a calorie or two spent moving your lips. But the payoff, I can assure you, will be significant. So next time you're on the road and you hit the 30-foot mark, keep the Blackberry pocketed. Look up and say hello.
