For unaffiliated girls who either missed out on fall rush or chose to drop out because of disappointing results, winter rush offered a second chance to join a sorority. For others, however, it became an opportunity to contradict the false belief that all girls dream of being part of a Greek house. By intentionally ditching winter rush, some of us were given a second chance to take a stand against the ruling social scene at Dartmouth and embrace our unaffiliated status.
After going through parts of fall rush, some girls who shared my experience came to realize the politics involved in joining a sorority, and subsequently decided to drop out. Although some thought that the fall and winter would be rough out in the cold without a house to turn to, I, along with many of my friends, realized the benefits of being unaffiliated. As neutral members of this campus, we are freed of all labels and fake bonds of loyalty. Personal issues between individuals of different houses sometimes seem to easily take the form of warfare, which escalates when all members of a house are obliged to support their sisters or brothers. I had an entire sorority turn against me because of an argument between myself and one of its sisters, even though the majority of the sorority's membership knew me only by name. I was also nearly ostracized by a fraternity after an encounter with two of its members, only because of the brothers' forced loyalty to one another. Such social rules are highly destructive on a campus as small as Dartmouth's, and really make me question people's individual judgment on a campus where social life relies on bonds of loyalty.
Aside from new friendships, I am sure that most of us have observed that some of our old friends have changed significantly since joining a sorority. While sororities continue to denounce stereotypes about their houses, they repeatedly reinforce those stereotypes during rush period. Because of the strong identities of Greek houses, members' personalities often change upon entering a sorority in order to adapt entirely to their prescribed roles -- they ultimately give up a bit of their personality to fit into a group.
In his op-ed last term ("The Unaffiliated Path," Sept. 30), Dmitriy Gutkovic said, "If you deeply value the community experience or being social, I recommend pledging. If a large number of your friends are going to one house, then absolutely pledge -- the experiences you share will be worth it and you will be brothers for life."
I disagree.
While brothers and sisters in houses are obligated to become friends, true friendships develop naturally. You may have your "brothers" and "sisters" for life, but those are ultimately no more than labels, and don't say much about the reality.
Moreover, many girls decide to rush because they believe they are supposed to, with the mentality that "everyone else is doing it, so why shouldn't I?" This attitude undermines the benefits of being unaffiliated. In joining a house, we define a large part of our remaining three years at Dartmouth, and prevent ourselves from exploring different social groups and venues. By staying unaffiliated, we can portray ourselves as who we are, rather than the house to which we belong, and we can escape phony relationships that ultimately limit our friendships and experiences at Dartmouth.
The underlying belief that all girls dream of being in a sorority pressures girls to rush, and also creates an atmosphere where unaffiliated girls are pitied rather than admired for their independent spirits. One of my friends who decided not to rush at all, neither in the fall nor in the winter, often gets comments such as, "It's too bad you didn't rush, I'm sure you would've gotten into a really good house if you had tried..." Comments like these infer that all girls aspire to be in a sorority, and that they only choose to remain unaffiliated out of fear of rejection. On the contrary, many unaffiliated girls have made conscious decisions to stay away from Greek restrictions, and to live their Dartmouth experiences to the fullest, on their own terms.
I have to admit that the Greek life at Dartmouth is considerably better and more inclusive than at many other schools, but this makes it all the better to be unaffiliated; just because you're not in a house doesn't mean you can't drink or party -- on the contrary, you can be part of everything without restrictions or obligations. Unaffiliated girls should embrace their status as independent individuals, and should encourage other girls to question whether Greek life truly suits them, or whether they're only rushing for the hype.
