Last Friday the student who sold me my grilled cheese sandwich on the lawn outside of Sig Ep had the courage to ask me how it tasted. The processed cheese was barely melted, the tasteless white bread wasn't buttered, the chef making it had dropped the one before mine on the ground but still passed it to a student who apparently didn't notice, and it was about $3 too expensive. Our late-night food options should not be this disappointing.
Having accessible food late at night is most important because eating before drinking alcohol greatly reduces the risk of alcohol poisoning and blacking out. Food Court is open until 1 a.m., but getting there from Frat Row is daunting, and the weather isn't getting any warmer.
What we need is a discreet, informal eatery. Dartmouth College needs a taco truck.
Taco trucks, in case you live in some hellish world devoid of greasy refried beans and quesadillas, are small trailers that make and sell cheap Mexican food. The taco truck would be self-contained -- no seating and no dishes. The school could employ very few Dining Services workers, thereby keeping costs low. Also, because it requires less labor than a dining hall, it would be cheaper than FoCo to keep open late.
Such a venue would also allow us to eat something on Frat Row that's better than an over-priced grilled cheese. We joke that DA$H is comparable to Monopoly money so we can spend it recklessly, but $4 for two slices of bread and a slice of cheese should be criminal, even if it's for a cause as admirable as helping children in Africa.
The taco truck wouldn't just benefit the consumers. Student groups on campus could use the taco truck to run more legitimate fundraisers by reducing the problem of stealing. Believe it or not, sometimes students prioritize their munchies over their spotless moral code and deceive the people putting on the fundraiser. They give their information when they know full well that their accounts have insufficient funds for the sale, provide fake DA$H numbers, scribble something completely incoherent or don't write anything at all. The taco truck could accept DBA like the concession stands at the football games. .
Also, I know that the process of raging is hardly hygienic, but the sanitation level of current Frat Row fundraisers rivals that of the frat basements. I'm not a germ freak, but we should maintain some sense of cleanliness. Using a George Foreman grill that hasn't been washed since freshman year to undercook a sandwich is hardly the recipe for a healthy student population. A location where students could at the very least wash their hands before touching their food might prevent us from being sick all of Winter term.
The demand for food grows exponentially as the night progresses. The despair is palpable on campus at 2:11 a.m. when those unfortunate souls realize that EBAs is closed, and the only available food is a questionable-looking birthday cake in the communal fridge.
Since the College unfairly shackles us to a meal plan, it should provide us with food when we need and want it most. The solution to the food problem doesn't have to be a taco truck per se. Simply keeping a dining hall open later into the night would benefit the campus. DDS could even recycle the leftovers from dinner earlier in the evening if they didn't want to prepare new food.
This Friday, while you're brushing the grass off your severely burnt grilled cheese sandwich, think of a supreme burrito with guacamole, sour cream and side of tortilla chips you could be eating instead.
