The contrast first became glaringly obvious to me when I was a guest at a friend's family pool party in rural Costa Rica this past winter. As someone who tends to be quite awkward around strangers, especially ones who seem to be impossibly jolly for a family function, I spent the beginning of the party in the corner observing.
Reveling in my self-satisfaction at having chosen an off term where I could be exposed to such an authentic cultural education (such as a foreign pool party), I turned my attention to what had now become the dance floor for a group of women who were gyrating in their bikinis to salsa music and reggaeton. Feeling pale and ashamed of my immobile hips, I tucked a large towel around my own bikini and continued to watch, mesmerized, and edge closer.
My attempt at stealth was a failure, and I was soon pulled onto the dance floor, mortified. I tried awkwardly to imitate their seductive dance moves, but the women were displeased: Why on earth was I still wearing a towel to dance in? Obviously it was because I'm a shy American, but they insisted the towel must come off. I panicked -- this was a family function, not MTV's Spring Break. But as my terrycloth security blanket was ripped off and I blushed, I wondered why I was so embarrassed until it hit me: Despite the fact that 'sex sells' and promiscuity has completely infiltrated our society, at the heart of it, Americans are still a bunch of awkward prudes.
The U.S. is a place where everything is super-sized, from fast food to the current national debt, and injections of sexual content into our culture are no exception. It is not uncommon anymore that on any given day the major news stories are detailed accounts of politicians' sex scandals or leaked celebrity sex tapes. But for all the sex in our culture -- all the Hooters locations nationwide, the beer ads with scantily-clad girls, the Playboy centerfolds taped into high school lockers and even the drunken dance-floor makeouts -- the core problem with the average American still remains. Compared with most other cultures in the world, Americans are innately and overly inhibited when interacting on a basic level.
Take the most obvious example -- the greeting. All of Central and South America and Europe use the kiss (minus England, but that's a whole other level of reservation entirely), may it be one, two or three, to greet each other irrespective of how well the two people know each other. I have no doubt that this concept of kissing as greeting terrifies thousands of American tourists every day who walk around said regions of the world clutching their guidebooks and glancing around nervously for potential kiss-greeting locals. Kissing people as you greet them immediately breaks down the initial wall of social awkwardness and also seems much friendlier than say, the handshake, which seems absurdly cold and standoffish in other cultures. Even worse is the ever-popular wave, one of my personal favorites even if the person is inches from my face.
For a culture that on the surface seems to be obsessed with sex, why are we so afraid of people invading our space? The same goes for the general wariness towards kindness of strangers, whom Americans usually perceive as predators, or people who look you in the eye in public transportation, or people who might say 'good morning' even if you don't know them, which is perceived as odd or creepy.
Maybe we're all just a little too uptight, and Dartmouth is no exception to the rule. Under the mask of alcohol, Dartmouth students craft all sorts of excuses to deluge the social scene with sexuality, be it dark dance parties or costume events where the best costume means the least amount of clothing. But as soon as the sun comes up, Dartmouth students are notorious for their self-proclaimed awkwardness, most commonly manifested in our preference to only say hi to each other if we really have to (because we tried to pretend we didn't see each other but it didn't work).
America is like a boy on the brink of puberty: obsessed with sex but also hiding behind it in a "I can talk the talk but can't walk the walk" kind of way. When it comes to sex in our culture, Americans go to all sorts of extremes. But when it comes to something as basic as a greeting or casual conversation or even dancing at a pool party, we are far too restricted by our self-consciousness, as our sexuality is canceled out by the degree to which everyone in our society is immensely critical of each other. The solution? I don't know. But a little kissing couldn't hurt.
