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The Dartmouth
April 25, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

If You Can't Beat the Heat, Join It

1.Screw your grades, screw your GPA, and then screw each other. Make completing the Dartmouth Seven a top priority. There is more than one way to be rewarded for your merits.

2.Turn off the air conditioning and take a fashion note from Adam and Eve -- before they got kicked out of the Garden.

3.Donate your fan to the Iraqi kids. They'll love it.

4.Forget Astro 3 and learn the real meaning of the full moon by showing it to some tour groups.

5.Check out some campers and then check into prison.


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