Like most of you, the idea of the Dartmoose terrifies me. I was never much of a Keggy fan, but at least multiple words were not combined into one. It reeks of the rampant recycling of ideas that appears to happen every so often. We get far enough away from the initial result that we forget how unpopular an idea is.
When the Dartmoose was introduced (unofficially) at a men's basketball game in the winter of 1997 ("Moose to appear at games, reunions," Aug. 26, 1998), it appeared mildly popular. The athletic department adopted it as official "fan entertainment" in the fall of 1998, at which point Assistant Director of Athletic Marketing Brandon MacNeill said, "We're glad that the support for the Moose has caught on in a big way .... It'll finally give the community something to rally behind and really cheer for."
I do not know who these community members supporting the moose were, but thankfully it did not last.
Not to pick on poor Mr. MacNeill again, but he also is quoted as saying, "We're trying to take the moose to the next level .... He's going to have a new moose suit made by a professional company." At the news that this proposal was actually given some serious thought by relatively important people, I shuddered in visible pain.
I do not pretend that the Big Green is an optimal nickname. It is only a color, and it does little to inspire fear in the hearts and minds of our opponents. But the Dartmoose will not do this either. In fact, the Dartmouth Moose, led by their Dartmoose, may lead to worse recruiting for varsity teams and a general lack of respect for the Dartmouth College athletic department. Who wants to play for the Moose? The Dartmoose's moment in the sun has long since passed, and now it hangs out for dear life, in the hope that a few eager freshmen can keep it alive.
With that said, criticism is easy, so I now offer you a few suggestions. In reverse order
5) The Dartmouth Black Bears
Pros: Bears are noble creatures. Bears are both intimidating and cool. We already play against the Columbia Lions and the Princeton Tigers.
Cons: Brown insists on calling themselves the Brown Bears, which while clever, does not reflect that their school colors are red and white. I also refuse to acknowledge that Brown has a functioning athletic department, and believe they would fold like a cheap tent when their brown bear is faced with our black bear. AND, brown bears are not even native to the Northeast.
4) The Dartmouth Moose
Pros: This idea actually sucks. But at least it's not the "Dartmoose." And the athletic department could probably make a few dollars off of it.
Cons: See pros.
3) The Dartmouth Avalanche
Pros: It's a natural disaster, which is always popular (that's why there are teams named the Earthquakes, the Red Storm, etc.). It has been done successfully before. It could lend itself to all kinds of promotional gimmicks (we could have a Yeti roaming the sideline).
Cons: The Avalanche works better for winter sports than spring and fall ones. Especially when it's 80 degrees outside.
2) Rotating Mascots
Pros: The mascot would change on a game-by-game basis. Fans would show up in part just to see what the day's mascot would be. Batman could be the mascot one day, and another day could be Captain America, maybe even Bill Clinton. Dartmouth would also garner national attention for such a bold and unique vision. And it would confuse the living daylights out of every team we face. Talk about a home field/ice/court advantage.
Cons: It is a logistical nightmare. And after a couple of years, there may not be enough ideas to persist any longer. It would almost be as big of a joke as the Dartmoose (only its proponents, i.e., me, realize it is a joke).
1) The Dartmouth Granite
Pros: It ties Dartmouth to New Hampshire. Granite is a stoic and igneous rock. Who wouldn't want a big block of granite running around the sideline?
Cons: The mascot could not actually be made of granite. The suit would be too heavy. Also, the New Hampshire Fisher Cats rejected the New Hampshire Granite as a possible option when naming their franchise.
I believe that these choices (minus number four) are all worthy alternatives to a Dartmoose idea that would cause even the Crimson and the Big Red to deride us. Even no mascot is preferable to the Dartmoose.
Perhaps the biggest lesson of the Dartmoose crusade is that freshmen should neither be seen nor heard, but if one of these options is to be chosen, please let us not hear their shrill cries for the Dartmoose.
