Apparently I wasn't the only one last week still caught up on the recent campus events, since every page of last Friday's Dartmouth had a mascot-related article. Over the past few days, I have had the opportunity to talk with students about many issues, and I am very much looking forward to discussing those issues with none other than Josie Harper in the coming week. My only hope is that my column engenders the type of intelligent discourse I expect from the Dartmouth community, not the mindless regurgitation of conservative/liberal dogma that most arguments of this nature usually boil down to.
But let's put the issue aside for a moment to enter the world of sports.
Despite my intense hatred for the Patriots, I can't say that I was surprised when they clobbered the Jets this weekend. Especially since I took the over and the points and managed to stay in the black this weekend for a change. Another great betting strategy is to never bet on the most erratic team in professional sports, the New York football Giants. Any team that starts the season 6-2 and finishes 2-6 is, for lack of a better term, a clusterf*ck, and trying to predict points or even bet the money line is insanity. In typical underachieving Tom Coughlin fashion, the Giants managed to play the Eagles close before giving up a late-game field goal heartbreaker to bring the 2006-07 season to a close. But hey, at least they put 20 points on the board this time instead of getting shut out like last year's first round playoff game.
Time for Awards:
Choke-Artist of the Weekend: Ohio State Buckeyes
Very rarely in championship history is true greatness followed by utter failure and defeat, but the sports world was treated to just such an occasion on Monday night. One year and four days removed from perhaps one of the best performances in BCS Championship history (see: Vince Young's jaw-dropping heroics against USC), Monday night was witness to perhaps one of the biggest choke-jobs in BCS Championship history. Troy Smith, the highly-touted Heisman Trophy winner, had the worst game of his starting career at OSU, completing four of 14 passes for 35 yards, zero TDs and one interception. He also rushed 10 times for negative 29 yards, so his net yardage for the game is somewhere around Vince Young's Wonderlic test score. A sad, sad day for OSU fans across the country, and an equally sad day for everyone outside the state of Florida who now has to deal with annoying Gator fans relishing their reigning NCAA football and basketball champion status with flags, banners, tattoos and the dreaded-but-inevitable Sports Illustrated special Gators Championship commercial.
Athlete of the Weekend: Leon Pattman '07, Dartmouth Basketball
Will Dartmouth basketball's Leon Pattman be happier about being named the Ivy Men's Basketball Player of the Week, or WOE's Athlete of the Weekend? I think we all know which award is more prestigious, so I'll be expecting some free tickets in my Hinman Box later this week. To say that Pattman's recent return to the team has resurrected the 2006-07 season is like saying penicillin may have helped out a few people. Since returning to the lineup, Dartmouth basketball has won six of their last seven games, including victories over Harvard and Army, while Pattman has averaged nearly 20 points and 33 minutes per game. With the team's overall record at 6-7, the Dartmouth men's basketball team is on the verge of being a .500 team in January and already has as many wins as they did in the entire 2005-06 season (6-21). Students should take notice and show their support in the stands. I'll be there as soon as my vouchers for free arena hot dogs arrive.
Plea of the Weekend: Tank Johnson, Not Guilty
In what may be a first-ever at WOE, Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson may be the first athlete to garner two consecutive awards, and that fact alone should provide the slimmest of silver linings after he pleaded not guilty to 10 counts of possession of firearms without the required state gun owner identification card, despite the fact that, according to the assistant state's attorney, "One of the loaded rifles was found in [Johnson's] own bedroom." Luckily, the judge has allowed Johnson to travel freely so he can join the Bears in their coming playoff game against the Seattle Seahawks. The Bears have suspended Johnson one game not for the ten counts of possession, the 550 pounds of ammunition found at his home or the loaded rifle found in his bedroom but for being at a downtown nightclub where his bodyguard was shot and killed two days before the police raid on his home. Note to aspiring NFL players -- guns might kill you, but those awful nightclubs will ruin your career!
