By AJ Fox
The Dartmouth Staff
They say that spring is the season when a young man's fancy turns to love. Summer, on the other hand, is the season when that same desire turns to explosions, car chases, superheroes, pirates and snakes -- on a plane. In short, it's when all the pulpy adolescent fantasies of a nation ignite like fireworks on the Fourth of July. And what better to turn these fantasies into reality than Hollywood's dream factory, which opens its pipelines every summer to pump a stream of big bombastic action spectacles into multiplexes across the country. The summer movie season is a time for audiences to turn off their brains, nestle into their plastic chairs, and with popcorn in one hand and Pepsi in the other, dive headfirst into an on-screen world of explosive thrills. Without further ado, let's take a look at some of the best and brawniest action films that this summer has to offer:
June 28 -- Superman Returns
Remember how much "X-Men III" sucked? That's because acclaimed director Bryan Singer abandoned the project so that he could bring to the big screen one of the most beloved comic book heroes of all time. Newcomer Brandon Routh slips into the legendary blue tights to play Superman, the last survivor of the doomed planet Krypton who crash-lands on Earth and becomes a hero to his adopted world. The latest installment in the 20-year-defunct franchise finds Superman having returned from an interstellar journey only to find his girlfriend, Lois Lane, married to another man. But don't let the film's romantic overtones get you down, action fans: Oscar winner Kevin Spacey is on hand as Superman's longtime nemesis Lex Luthor, who has designed an unstoppable doomsday machine as part of his scheme for world domination. Will he succeed? Can Superman win back his true love? Did studio executives really want Keanu Reeves to play Superman? Find out tomorrow, when "Superman Returns" opens in theaters everywhere. Yes, It's True: The film's team of costume designers argued for weeks about the appropriate size for Superman's codpiece.
July 7 -- Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
With his gold teeth glinting and a flagon of rum in hand, the lovable Cap'n Jack is back for another high- seas adventure in the feverishly anticipated sequel to 2003's box-office smash "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl." This time around, Jack (Johnny Depp) has sold his soul to Davey Jones, and then must enlist the help of fellow pirate Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) to find a mystical chest that holds the only chance of his salvation. Keira Knightley, fresh off her Oscar nomination for "Pride and Prejudice," squeezes back into a corset to play Will's fiance Elizabeth Swann, and rumor has it she gets a few kick-ass fight scenes of her own this time around. Director Gore Verbinski has promised that the second installment of the series will feature ghosts, cannibals, sea monsters and more scurvy hijinks than you can shake a cutlass at. Let's hope he's got some excitement left over for "Pirates of the Caribbean: World's End," which was filmed simultaneously with "Chest" and is due to hit theaters next May. Yes, It's True: Johnny Depp would only agree to do a sequel to the original "Pirates" if rock star Keith Richards could have a cameo in the next installment.
July 28 -- Miami Vice
Acclaimed director Michael Mann delivers what's sure to be one of the grittiest thrillers of the summer by bringing the eponymous '80s television series about the South Beach drug trade to the big screen. Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx star as police agents who go undercover to crack a massive intercontinental narcotics trade run by Cuban drug czar Jess Montoya (Luis Tosar). Along the way, lines are crossed and loyalties are tested, and about half the cast doesn't live to see the end credits. Filming in the Dominican Republic was reportedly suspended due to a hurricane that rolled over the set, but no matter -- Mann's returning to the taut cops-and-robbers drama that earned him kudos in "Heat" and "Collateral," and it's hard to imagine a better star pairing than the white-hot Farrell and Foxx. Let's just hope they get rid of those cheesy flamingo-print shirts from the TV series. Yes, It's True: After spending months playing an undercover drug agent, Farrell checked into rehab for heroin while the film went through post-production.
August 18 -- Snakes on a Plane
Originally conceived as just another late-August moneymaker, this movie has arguably garnered more anticipatory buzz than any film of the last decade. It all started several months ago, when Samuel L. Jackson announced that his next project would be a movie with the most unpretentious title in the history of film: "Snakes on a Plane." Internet bloggers seized gleefully on this film's brilliantly stupid concept, and soon an entire subculture had cropped up around the yet-unreleased thriller. Obsessions range from unofficial fan sites to various unauthorized attempts at merchandising ("Snakes on a Plane" t-shirts have become a prolific internet product). In May, the buzz reached such a fever pitch that studio executives authorized a week of expensive re-shoots to raise the movie's rating from PG-13 to R, as well as to add the much-anticipated line by Jackson: "I want these motherfcking snakes off this motherfcking plane!" The studios have yet to unveil their Oscar contenders for the end of the year, but from the looks of it, moviegoers have already crowned the unofficial champion of 2006. Yes, It's True: The title is "Snakes on a Plane." Seriously.
