Summer is just around the corner, and, for once, I have nothing to complain about. There I said it -- nothing at all. The explanation for these feelings of pure, undiluted elation is simple -- summer movies. When you boil me down, I'm really, at heart, a sucker for big-budget blockbusters, and the bottom line is, there is no better time for these films of mass popcorn consumption than the good ol' months of summer.
The seasons of fall, winter and spring are fine and dandy for those run-of-the-mill, wholly unremarkable comedies that inspire the mildest of laughter or the bevy of family-oriented pictures about going to the lake or Christmas dinners gone awry. They even afford directors one final, last-ditch attempt to squeeze in an "important" film that deals with "issues" -- just in time for award show season with the lofty hopes of snagging a gold statue to bring home.
However, with the exception of the rare winter epic, like "The Lord of the Rings," or dare I say, "Harry Potter," such movies rarely entertain the senses in the truly visceral way that summer movies do; I'm talking total sensory overload here, people. That means special effects that smash you into your seatbacks, surround sound that causes eardrums to bleed and suspense so great that you will have fingernail indentations on your arm from where your date was squeezing.
But the best part of summer blockbusters is -- praise the Lord -- the total and utter absence of any "messages," "issues" or hidden agendas whatsoever. The only agenda is to blow lots of stuff up, and that is just fine by me.
You see, when I go to the movies, I go, first and foremost, to be entertained. Let me first clarify what I mean when I say "entertained" by explaining what does not entertain me. What does not entertain me are movies made by some dropout director posing as an intellectual, who talks down to me while passing judgment on the world and pushing his personal political agenda. If I wanted propaganda, I would have our government make it, thank you very much. Movies like "The Green Berets" (inadvertently hilarious) exist for a reason.
Alas, I digress. What I do like to see when I shell out the $10.75 for a ticket -- which I do not part with lightly, mind you -- are explosions. Explosions, explosions and bigger explosions; in a pinch, car chases, gunfights, dinosaurs, aliens, sharks, spaceships, lost arks or battle scenes will do just as well.
As such, I have already embarked on my quest for the greatest blockbuster of the present season with a viewing of "Mission: Impossible III" at The Nugget Theater last week. I could think of no better way to ring in this season of seasons, than with a well-crafted action movie, chock full of base jumping, covert operations and high-profile international bad guys. After all, it could not be any worse than the second one, right?
For my visceral, and quite physical movie-going needs, nothing in the cinema universe delivers like the summer movie season. This is honestly something I look forward to all year. Every time I attend a movie during the months of September through April I watch the previews with rapt anticipation hoping to catch a glimpse of another picture that might just rock my socks off.
For the life of me, I do not know when or where Hollywood happened upon this glorious formula to bestow upon us, the consumer public, this gift of brain-devastating, earth-shattering cinema, but from the bottom of my heart: thank you. The three-month respite from thought-related "films" that dull the senses and bore the mind is much appreciated and sorely needed. Here's to summer!
