When John Lyons was fired as head football coach and Buddy Teevens was simultaneously let go from Stanford, I was fairly certain of the abilities of the Dartmouth administrative forces to screw things up. I began to envision the likely successors. I was supremely confident that we would have the first transgender, native Eskimo with a doctorate in electrical engineering and a Nobel Prize in applied physics ever to coach football, a promotion from his/her prior position as the Sarah Lawrence broomball team coach. This would be hailed as a great step in achieving the SLI (which is Dean-speak for the "No Fun Ever For Any Reason Initiative").
By some miracle, Dartmouth has ended up with the right guy. This is a very important step in restoring the school's football team to prominence and, in many ways, its prestige. It marks the first clear indication in the face of much subversion that football and traditional Dartmouth values in general are still held dear in Hanover. All who contributed to this decision should be applauded.
The Teevens hire sends a signal to the campus community and prospective players that the football team is an elite player among peer schools. Furthermore, it states that Dartmouth demands success in this endeavor.
A coach like Teevens draws instant respect from recruits. How many coaches in the Ivy League can talk about their experiences in the Orange Bowl, Sugar Bowl or as the head man for a Pac-10 team? On top of this, achieving high success as a player and coach at Dartmouth restores tradition to a program that should be able to rely on the luster of the past that few can boast.
Despite how significant a step this is, it is only one step. The entire attitude at Dartmouth surrounding football is despicable. I'm tired of hearing self-righteous cracks from kids who hyperventilate from a long sprint through their math proofs about how they don't like the football team. Most everyone at Dartmouth owes his or her admission to one hook or another, so get off of your high horses.
In general, I'd contend that the football players are among the more motivated and well-rounded groups in the school--certainly far more so than some creature organizations that I won't bother to discuss here (for a full description of what a creature organization is, you'll have to wait for my book release in the spring titled, "Taxonomy of the Creature").
Perhaps a more important feature of the deplorable mentality is typified by the recent fiasco surrounding the letter of Karl Furstenberg, Dean of Nerd Recruitment and Furtherance of the Agenda of the No Fun Policy. I'll attempt to be fair to Mr. Furstenberg, a man whom I do not know, as he was kind enough to sign my acceptance letter. He is credited with many achievements from his position. However, I feel that his letter to the Swarthmore president (on Dartmouth letterhead), from a man in such a high position, is a terrible transgression. If an equally high administrator had written a letter opposing Dartmouth's beloved tolerance and oppression of fun policy, he would be on the first bus out of Dodge. I've heard the term "healthy tension" thrown around to describe the relationship between the admissions and athletic departments. Why can't they be on the same page?
We need to keep up this momentum. Football is important. It unites the community, builds a sense of tradition in our culture and connects the alumni to the school (translating into the cash that pays for things). Football stems far back into the history of the Ivy League, and since so many people like to pat themselves on the back about being in the Ancient Eight, let's remember that the Ivy League is a football conference at its core.
Thus, I think the Dartmouth community needs to be clear that a good football team is our interest, and not tolerate aggressions from students or administrators against that end. Hopefully, Mr. Teevens will lead Dartmouth to many future successes.
