Life held very few mysteries for me. I have never been an intellectual pondering great philosophical questions about the existence of the universe or the purpose of life. I always imagined that such thoughts should be reserved for the professional thinkers -- you know, the ones who sit around in cafs and, well, think. The line separating me from these professional thinkers was, therefore, clearly marked. I liked it that way. It made everything so much simpler. I mean, I could go through my normal, daily activities without being plagued constantly by the haunting questions of who I am and where I come from. If only things could have stayed that way But no, I came to Dartmouth and everything changed. Dartmouth is a truly strange place and I soon realized that I would not be able to prevent myself from being plagued by its mysteries.
The D-Plan is perhaps one of the greatest mysteries I have ever encountered. That sounds weird, of course -- there shouldn't be anything mysterious about it, but I maintain my assertion that our system is downright bizarre. There are no two ways about it. I mean, how else can you explain the logic behind having "midterms" two weeks into classes? Frankly, I think they should stop calling them midterms. Midterms, by definition, imply the middle of the term. We have two midterms and a final in a 10-week term. Now, I'm no math major, but even I can tell that these midterms don't fall in the middle of the term. So why insist on perpetuating such misnomers? Why not just call these midterms by their rightful names, for example: "evil stress-inducing atrocities" or "inconvenient annoyances?" I suppose "midterm" just has a less menacing ring to it, making its use a little more understandable.
Unending midterms and exams are not the only mysteries of the D-Plan. Just think about it. Did you or did you not have to sign up for spring classes this past week? How is that possible? I have barely settled into my current schedule, barely begun to enter a rhythm and balance of classes and activities. How can they expect us to sign up for next term's classes already? Maybe at this point, I should clarify my use of such sweeping generalizations as "they" and "them." I refer, of course, to the system, to the invisible powers that be, to the Big Brother that is constantly watching our every move.
Is that good enough? Great, so now that we've cleared up a few critical issues, let's return to the point, which is that most college students are not organized enough to look very far into the future, hence the difficulty in deciding on D-Plans, majors and other things of that nature. And these things make deciding on classes so early very hard. Well, maybe it isn't that early, but it sure feels like it. Either way, I wish I had a better system for choosing classes than leafing through the ORC and randomly picking classes using dubious logic. For example, try and follow this train of thought: I don't particularly like history, but art is pretty cool. And I went to the National Gallery of Art once. Okay, I'll sign up for Art History 1.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just a lazy, uninspired, dissatisfied sort of person. Be that as it may, it brings me no closer to solving any of these mysteries. This is only my second term here, so maybe things will improve with practice. I doubt that, however. I don't really see myself ever getting used to taking one midterm, slacking off for a week, falling behind terribly, then panicking for the next set of midterms. That's another thing, there is no time to slack off. If you miss class for a day or fall behind reading just a little, it's difficult, not to mention stressful, to catch up. Maybe it varies with different course selections, but from my limited experience, that hasn't been the case. Maybe the schedule's a good thing because it forces us to try to become more focused, disciplined and organized (the operative word being try, of course). And all this might be good and healthy, but that doesn't mean it's natural. Being lazy is natural, procrastination is natural. As a friend of mine says: to stop procrastinating would be to neglect our human side. And we could never have that, could we?
There are other mysteries at Dartmouth, such as discovering it's just past 2 a.m. and you're still hungry. Or finding that your "gut" class is much more work than you had bargained for. Or learning that it is almost impossible to avoid anyone at Dartmouth because you're constantly running into them at Food Court or Novack or on the Green. Or realizing that the paper you had "plenty of time to write" is due in two days.
You get my point. These things happen to us all, I'm sure, and yet they continue to mystify me. All the trials and tribulations of a typical Dartmouth student. No wonder I can't ignore the professional philosopher in me anymore. Now excuse me while I go find myself a chic caf (read: Lone Pine) and philosophize.
