I love the summer. Especially here at Dartmouth, where I'm allowed to take two classes, NRO one of them, and spend the rest of the time playing sports and enjoying the outdoors. But those who know my writing know that my articles are very rarely about something that is right in the sports world, and this is no exception.
This article is about sports only indirectly, and concerns what Dartmouth sports bring to this college, mainly during the summer: thousands of little kids who believe that this is their playground, when in fact, it is MINE.
The other day my friend and I were at Lone Pine Tavern and three campers (I use that term loosely because we are all campers here this summer) "budged" us in line (for those who don't know what a "budge" is, it is third-grade slang for "cut in line"). I didn't say anything, I just stared at these mannerless 16-year-olds who seem to think their DBA is worth more than mine is. I was flabbergasted, to say the least.
That was just an example of the inconvenience that these adolescents bring to my life. When there are more teenagers running around than there are at any 'NSYNC concert, you know you have a problem. And you have a big problem when these junior campers get in the way of my daily activities.
Aside from the congestion they cause at any DDS establishment, what irks me the most is when they cause delays in my workout schedule. As hectic as my life is with one and a half classes and a weekly column, finding time to exercise between pong games and school is tough, which is why backups and obtrusive campers annoy me so.
For instance, when I arrived on campus in late June, the only thing on my mind was playing tennis. I began playing four to five days a week, which made me happy as a pig inwell you know. But then I began seeing more and more six to 13-year-olds playing on my courts. I then looked at the newly posted sign next to the courts which read: "From July 2 to 28, the courts will be occupied by tennis camps from: 8:30-12:30, 1-4:30, 5:30-7." (Those aren't exact times, but how it felt to me.) So I now had a total of one-and-a-half hours of daylight with which to hone my forehand and overhead smash. Not pleased in the least.
What makes this story more intriguing is that when July 28th finally came, a new circus rolled into town, the Nike Tennis Camp. But this show had many more campers, which brought along many more new chafes.
My friend was doing his laundry in the basement of New Hampshire Hall one afternoon when he was approached by a kid about twenty who said, "I'm sorry but you can't be here, you can finish your wash, but then I'll help you pack up and you can leave."
WHAT!? I would have responded, "I'm sorry, but when I'm done with my wash, I'm going to stick you in the dryer with it and shrink your oversized head." Instead my friend simply commented that at $30,000+ a year, and $10,000+ alone this summer, he was doing his laundry wherever the hell he wanted. End of story.
I hate to pick on tennis campers, but they are the most prevalent obstacles to my happiness this summer. But they are not the only ones to blame.
Question: is it mandatory that a) women's hockey campers Rollerblade to camp from their dorms every time they go, and b) that when they do, they must get in the way of the rare jog that I take? I jog but once a week, and every time so far there has been a women's hockey camper that almost barrels through me going 60 miles per hour on her Rollerblades down the Observatory Road hill behind the Fayerweathers. One of these times I'm not going to move and take the punishment and the multi-million dollar lawsuit that comes with it and see how many sports camps happen then.
I understand that sports camps are a great way to earn money for Dartmouth Sports and to also get an early recruiting edge on good teenage athletes. But Dartmouth should understand where their bread is buttered this summer, and that is with the 1,000 "campers" it houses year round. Enough people love this season to want to spend it here, taking classes and putting their noses to the grindstone, but if there is one thing that college students hate, it is getting drawn out of their routine; and these campers do exactly that.
I'm not saying that Dartmouth should get rid of all sports camps, or just camps in general. What I'm saying is that both parties, students and campers and counselors alike would feel much more comfortable if the other weren't around.
