Top 10 List

As I am writing this article, I'm watching the Late Show with David Letterman on CBS. Lately, FYI, I haven't found his top ten lists too rousing. Anyway, I feel inspired to construct a top 10 list of my own. I'll entitle it "The Top Ten Things I Currently Think About Sports." Here goes.

1. Here's this week's bit of "who cares" news. According to published reports, recently engaged NHL superstar Pavel Bure and tennis glamour girl Anna Kournikova may be postponing their wedding. Really though, who cares? Actually, I take that back. Maybe the 20,000 daily visitors to Kournikova's website think they still have a chance to marry her. Maybe they care.

2. Was everyone else as disappointed with the men's NCAA basketball final as I was? It was such an anti-climactic ending to a very exciting tournament. I was, and still am, feeling unfulfilled. Not everything in sports turns out the way we want, but couldn't some higher spiritual power -- like the gods of college basketball -- have intervened and given us just one more great game?

3. Turning to hockey, I'm very saddened to think about the unfortunate accident of Toronto Maple Leaf defenseman Bryan Berard. The 23-year-old had a promising career lying before him only to have it all but ended on March 11 when he was accidentally blinded in one eye with a hockey stick. Berard has recently expressed hope that his eyesight will return so he can resume his career.

However, he has two obstacles in his way. First, doctors are not optimistic that sight will return to his injured eye. Second, the NHL forbids players with sight in just one eye from competing. Berard's injury is very unfortunate and I feel sorry for him, but I don't understand the part of his statement where he says he believes a visor protecting his face would not have prevented his injury.

Berard is among the majority of NHL players who don't wear visors. Hockey players have enough ways to injure themselves. Give up the visor-less helmets. There need not be anymore hockey players going blind. Plus, the visors would help them keep their teeth.

1. The NFL Draft of college players is coming up next weekend. I don't know why, but I always try to catch part of it on TV. True, it's not very exciting and I could just look up the next day who drafts who, but I'm drawn to it. Maybe I like to watch the poker game that is the draft unfold as it happens, instead of reading about who traded which draft pick for which draft pick the next day. Anyway, my team, the Chicago Bears, has the ninth overall selection. After years of mediocrity, the Bears have finally put together an offense. Now they need to improve the defense. To all fellow Bears fans, pray with me that they choose New Mexico State linebacker/safety/tight end Brian Urlacher. He will be this year's Jevon Kearse.

2. This one doesn't have too much to do with sports, but I need some variety in this list. Over spring break, I went skiing in Squaw Valley, California -- let me say, it's a great mountain, a must for die hard skiers. Anyway, on my return trip, my family and I are waiting for our plane out of Reno, Nevada. And who gets off a plane at the gate adjacent to ours, but none other than Rick Rockwell, recently the TV groom on FOX's "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire."

Fresh off his annulment from Darva Conger, Rockwell was starting a stand-up comedy tour in Reno. TV crews and travelers gathered around Rockwell as he reeled off some of the one-liners from his show. Well, there's one I hope to God isn't true. I'll quote Rockwell for this: "Well, before I went on the show, all my friends told me that once you get married you never get to see your wife naked anymore. You know what, based on my experience, they're right."

1. Rumors have been swirling for a while that tennis star Venus Williams may retire at age 19 due to nagging injuries. Excuse me, age 19? She might be done working and able to live off her tour winnings and financial investments? I'm 19, in college, haven't declared a major, and made only $1400 -- before taxes -- working in a Connecticut state park last summer. Just a thought, but maybe my parents didn't have enough foresight to choose my life path. Apparently they should have ran my life and made me into a teenage tennis prodigy. Actually, on second thought, maybe not. I'd look pretty stupid with my blonde hair all in dreadlocks.

2. Now, let's turn to "A Tale of Two NFL Cities." According to reports, 49er quarterback Steve Young, still on his worldwide honeymoon, is leaning towards returning to play another season for San Francisco. Don't do it Steve. The team is salary cap strapped and low on talent, has virtually no offensive line or defense, and is going to be rebuilding for a while. Retire and tell Jerry Rice to follow suit or demand a trade to a contender.

In Minnesota, Vikings head coach Dennis Green has signed 37 year-old Bubby Brister to help Daunte Culpepper become a productive NFL quarterback. Ok, Dennis Green has lost it. Two seasons ago, the Vikings' offense was the most productive in NFL history and the team almost made it to the Superbowl. Last season, they stumbled, only to be revived by George. Now, Green is going to start Culpepper. Excuse me? Yeah, if you're thinking it's stupid, that's because it is.

1. Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods. Somebody else that nobody cares about. Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods. That is pretty much what the sequence of PGA Tour event winners has turned into lately. Thursday, the Masters starts at Augusta National. Know who's gonna win? I'm not guaranteeing anything, but I'd put money on Eldrick -- yes, that's Tiger's real first name.

2. As the NBA season winds down, TV ratings are down. Subsequently, the league tried to spice things up by requiring head coaches to wear microphones and by placing cameras in locker rooms for nationally televised games. Give me a break. What moron actually thought people would watch more games just to hear coaches in the huddle saying "Ok guys, we've gotta seal off the backside. We're letting them get too many offensive rebounds. You've got to box out your man. Ok, on three 'win.' Ready? One, two, three. Win!" Good God, spare me.

3. Speaking of series that networks would wish for, a subway series between the New York Mets and Yankees would be incredible for TV ratings. However, as exciting as a subway series would be, my wish would be for a Boston Red Sox-Chicago Cubs World Series. No two teams have suffered longer and deserve to win a championship more than the Bo Sox and the Cubbies.

I think October will witness the Cleveland Indians defeating the St. Louis Cardinals, but in an ideal world Kerry Wood -- fully recovered from Tommy John surgery -- would face off against Pedro Martinez in game seven at Wrigley Field. Who wins? Well, in my ideal world, longtime Cub Mark Grace hits a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth with the Cubs down by three. However, since I'm surrounded by lots of Red Sox fans on this campus, I guess they'd have a different ending.