I still remember the feeling of being relegated to the "kids' table". It seemed that now matter how grown up I looked or felt, I was always turned gently away from adult conversations, presumably about things I didn't yet understand (like car payments and job promotions), to the small table on the side where talk turned instead to the latest playground incident. I always wondered what it would feel like to become an integral part of the sophisticated mystery for which I was then too immature.
I thought my place at the table would come with some significant rite of passage -- with going on my first date or getting my driver's license or being able to vote. Apparently, I was wrong. Even now, though I am in my last year at Dartmouth College and in my final term as CFS President, I find myself being turned away from the grown-up table. When do WE get to be the big kids?
The word "adult" was one carelessly tossed around at last week's Town Meeting on the Steering Committee's progress to date. It was suggested by some that we, as students, have not yet had enough worldly experiences (or Dartmouth experiences for that matter) to be able to decide a future for this college or make responsible decisions for ourselves. As last year's New York Times article noted, many college administrators nationwide believe that institutions of higher learning should be able to act in loco parentis for its student body. The word "adult" was rendered virtually meaningless by others at the Town Meeting who used it haphazardly. To me, it signifies a distinguished status, one which enables people to be treated as equal participants in any discussion and one which demands respect.
Truth be told, I do not think we are or should be exactly on the same playing field as administrators, trustees, or faculty who have had the experience of watching this school develop over past decades and will be an integral part of this community long after we graduate. I do wish, however, that we could at least eavesdrop on those seemingly mysterious conversations held in committee meetings and that we too could be privy to a little bit of "grown-up" thoughts. I think we've become afraid of being completely honest with each other about how we think Dartmouth (and/or the Greek system) should develop and have become far too accustomed to giving vague answers to extremely detailed questions. I know I, like others on this campus, have become wary of how one small side comment can create uproar and how quickly and easily one can lose support of colleagues.
I do recognize, however, that while we demand to be insiders on the inner workings of this institution, we do not always comport ourselves as the mature individuals we claim to be. We still hold our plastic beer cups in the chugging position, are amused by pointless pranks, and see an incredible challenge in rushing the football field or streaking the green. We are definitely still trying to figure out who we are, where we belong, and where we draw our ethical lines. That is part of what college is all about. I am not ready for us to be handed the keys to the college just yet, but I am still hoping that with the Trustees' announcement this Winter arrives an invitation to sit at the big kids' table. I think it's about time we learned how.
