The setting -- a living room. The actors -- friends and family. The reason for gathering -- The Super Bowl. Eating, drinking and loud talking dominate the scene. All of a sudden, the room grows quiet. Conversations cut off abruptly and food and drink fall absent-mindedly to the floor as the drama on the TV screen sucks people in. The game-ending play? The AFC team's first completed pass? John Madden working the telestrator? None of the above. In fact, the cause for this reverent silence is really the main reason so many people still tune into the Super Bowl -- the commercials.
Work with me here folks. Why do millions and millions of people watch the Super Bowl? It sure cannot be the excitement of the recent games. The AFC has not won a championship since the Los Angeles Raiders did in 1984. This year, Super Bowl XXXII will pit the Denver Broncos against the defending champion Green Bay Packers. Ah, Denver, does anyone know where I can pick up a highlight tape of their 1990 Super Bowl appearance? Oh, my bad, no highlights exist because the 49ers mauled them 55-10. While the '97-'98 Denver squad is a much-improved team, they are presently a two-touchdown underdog to the boys from Titletown. Still, over 800 million people will tune into the game. Do not try to tell me that viewers set aside time because of the "half-time spectacular." By now people are growing tired of star after star lip-synching his/her heart out while being surrounded by fireworks. Quite frankly, it is becoming obvious. The only things that will give fresh life to this year's Super Bowl will be the commercials.
In order to get in the right frame of mind, let us reflect on some great moments in Super Bowl commercial history. First of all, ask anyone what they think is the best thing that happened to the Super Bowl in the 1990s and the answer is simple, the Bud Bowls. While these epic struggles have since lost their place, the past three years have produced some top-quality replacements. For instance, Budweiser remained on top of its game during Super Bowl XXIX with the talking frogs. Super Bowl XXX provided us with the Pepsi commercial where the Coke delivery man could not resist grabbing a Pepsi and ended up dumping the whole fridge full of cans on the floor. McDonald's also did well with their commercial with the baby in the swing who smiled when she could see the golden arches and cried when she swung down and they were out of view.
Super Bowl XXXI's cup overflowed with rather annoying plugs, like Miss Piggy for Baked Lay's, but it did have several commercials which produced substantial viewer reaction. For example, rising high above the other spots were Visa and Nissan. Remember what looked like a patriotic tribute to presidential candidate Bob Dole and his hometown roots but turned quite humorous when he was forced to produce identification to use American Express to pay for his meal at a local restaurant? Nissan fought to be equally funny with its commercial involving a brand new Nissan skillfully trying to outmaneuver an aerial onslaught by a fleet of pigeons. Remember those classics? I thought so...
Do not worry if you remembered every moment of the commercials I just mentioned. It is okay to admit that you are one of those people who flips the channel during the game hoping to find another commercial. In fact, I believe we as a society are gradually shifting the focus away from the actual game. Soon, I envision a world with the roles reversed. No longer will young kids be glued to their TV sets searching for ways to imitate their favorite NFL stars. No, my friends, these days are numbered. Soon, participation in AYSO soccer, Midget Football and Little League Baseball will plummet as parents fear that their children may lose focus or become injured and not have a chance for the bright lights. Oh, and do not think the youth will mind. No, from a very early age their sights will be set on a dream, the new American dream -- skipping college to go straight into commercials. Scouts will no longer stalk the gridiron and basketball courts looking for the next Barry Sanders or Michael Jordan. No, scouts will soon be found scouring high school and college cafeterias looking for the perfect hair for Pert Plus or the right body for Soloflex. And the recruiting will be intense. Free dinners, trips to company headquarters, new toys for the up and coming Pampers' star and outrageous salaries. How much does Brett Favre make theses days? A couple million? Well, that will soon be peanuts compared to the new stars of the commercial world.
A new day and age is on the horizon. Just look at Bob Dole. Geez, did he ever make a career mistake. The man was not winning any popularity contests as a presidential candidate, but his approval ratings soared after his stint with Visa. Even professional athletes are losing confidence in themselves. How many times do we need to see a retired star selling beer or Rogaine before we realize that he only became a professional athlete to vault himself into the world of advertising? And, after reading all of this, let us pull ourselves out of denial and admit that a majority of Americans continue to watch the Super Bowl for the enjoyment of seeing new commercials. To prove this to the thick-skulled individual, perform this simple test. This year at your Super Bowl party as each person or couple walks in the door ask them who is playing in the "big game." Be prepared for some interesting answers because many will not know or even care.
As my commentary draws to a close, I would not be following proper form if I did not make some prediction regarding the Super Bowl. So, here I go. I am confident in saying that Visa will be the clear winner. Why Visa and not Denver or Green Bay? Don't jump to conclusions. Visa will win because next year their Super Bowl ads can star John Elway instead of Senator Dole saying, "I just can't win."
