C Says: P, have you been to Career Services yet?
P Says: Yeah, I was just there yesterday for the first time and let me tell you, Kip taught me how to really sell my assets.
C Says: Really? Wow, do you think you could give me some pointers?
P Says: It would be my pleasure, C. Let me see your resume. Hmmm...OK, let's start with your summer jobs. "Salesperson at the Gap," huh? C, sweetie, you're totally not giving yourself enough credit here. I know you. You didn't merely sell clothes. You interacted with the clientele. Every purchase you sold was a result of your dedication and sparkling personality. When people walked out of those dressing rooms and asked you for your opinion you did the right thing and unselfishly lied and told them they looked like a million bucks so you could make that sale and help your company thrive. You're a team player, C, and by merely writing "salesperson" you're belittling your ability.
C Says: Do you really think so, P?
P Says: Absolutely. And Kip would think so, too.
C Says: OK. So what should I write instead?
P Says: Let me see here... give me a minute. Kip tells me wording is everything. I got it! How about "Hard working and successful retail fashion advisor working on a commission basis, proving to be the #1 profit-producing employee two months in a row."
C Says: Wow. That's so much better, P. I feel so much more accomplished.
P Says: That's only the beginning, C. Wait a second. Please tell me my eyes are deceiving me. You didn't sum up our entire glowing career at The D as columnists by merely writing "Columnist for The D," did you? Is that all you think of us?
C Says: Well, what did you write? Wait let me guess: "Funny, creative, innovative, masterful and accomplished columnist for the oldest college newspaper in the nation?"
P Says: No. I wrote "Staff Columnists for The D."
C Says: Oh.
P Says: C, you want to go into business right?
C Says: Yeah, why?
P Says: Because Kip gave me a little sample of what a corporate interview would be like. A lot of times they throw case studies at you, and you need to be on the ball or you won't get hired.
C Says: What's a case study, P?
P Says: I'll put it in terms you can relate to. This is the style of question you may be asked: How many breadsticks would you need to buy in order to equal the amount of money you would spend if you wanted to purchase 150 shares of Microsoft stock today?
C Says: Wow, P, that sounds really hard. I don't know if I can answer that. I'll give it a shot, though. OK, a box of breadsticks sells for about $4.00, but the price varies depending upon condiments. Buttered breadsticks cost more while unbuttered ones cost less. However, if they're unbuttered you usually order ranch so the price more or less remains constant around $4.00. We must include tip. I'll pretend my favorite long-haired delivery guy is coming so I'll throw in a $2.00 tip bringing the total cost of my breadstick consumption to $6.00. However, there are five breadsticks in a box so that would mean that each breadstick is $1.20. If I recall correctly, according to the Wall Street Journal this morning Microsoft is selling its stock for $140.00 per share. 150 shares would thus cost $21,000. And this would mean that I would need to consume 17,500 breadsticks.
P Says: C, that was a really good first try, but of course there is always room for improvement. I think you should still make an appointment with Kip. Everyone needs to experience Career Services first-hand.
C Says: OK. Thanks, P. You're the greatest.
