Let's face it -- there's nothing quite like rollerblading. Although many people are frightened by crazy rollerbladers, I think that we should take kindly to this popular sport and its participants. Even those neophyte kamikaze bladers deserve a chance to roll down the roads, a chance to liberate themselves from the highly over-rated, mundane experience of walking.
Just imagine -- you've just donned your aerodynamically padded spandex suit, the butt pads caressing your ass, a sense of security permeating your body; a shiny, storm trooper-like helmet instills you with invincibility; and wrist guards encircle your forearms ... well, OK, maybe they make you look like Xena the Warrior Princess. But what an exhilarating feeling!
According to some historians, a draft of the constitution actually said that everyone has a "right to bear blades"; unfortunately for us die hard bladers, Washington and his colleagues felt that 'arms' was a more appropriate word. Nevertheless, this sport is constitutionally entrenched, for a blade is an arm. Therefore, everyone has an inherent right to be on the road -- even if they look like they are blading with a pickle in an uncomfortable place.
Although there is nothing like experiencing this sport, many people do not realize that rollerblading is also an extremely entertaining spectator sport. For example, a friend and myself were walking down the sidewalk just across from the Hop when a beginning blader tried to squeeze between us. Fortunately for us, he realized his mistake; unfortunately for himself, he had to swerve onto the grass and hit a parking meter.
Yes, many of you might feel sorry for this poor fellow, and many of you might be appalled that an amateur blader is allowed to struggle dangerously down the sidewalks of Hanover; but despite these opinions, I found the situation quite humorous. I mean, how often do you get to see someone stumble into a parking meter and maim themselves? I couldn't stop thinking about it all day! In fact, there is nothing like watching a wobbling blader falter onto a busy road, weave in and out of traffic, and try to survive. It's like a modern-day, realistic version of Frogger. Man, how I pine for that game. OK, some of you might think I'm sadistic, but the fact remains, it was funny.
While budding bladers might seem like a threat to the road, we must accept their presence. True, they might look awkward, resembling more like a baby learning how to walk than a graceful Sergei Federov or Michelle Kwan. True, they might be somewhat dangerous to themselves and the public. But we all have to start somewhere in life, we all must take risks in life. Not only is it fun, it is our right to rollerblade. And that is why everyone deserves a chance to "bear blades."
