New and popular recreational sports, such as rollerblading, inevitably bring with them a number of beginners. Beginners who are insanely out of control on this campus. They have the expensive skates and the snazzy shirts that claim, "rollerbladers have NO FEAR." Well, for myself and a few others on campus, I tend to have a whole heck of a lot of fear. You've seen them around, the people with the butt-padded-spandex, helmets that can withstand a two ton impact and the rest of the assorted body armor on nearly every other part of their body. I'm not saying safety gear is not a good idea, just that when you are doing something that requires you to gear up to the point that you're nearly bullet proof, there might be safer alternatives. Knees knocking, arms flailing, legs splitting, these amateurs (soon to be professionals) can get ludicrously out of control.
Myself and a friend were walking on the sidewalk across from the Hop one day when we heard the early warning sound of humming wheels approaching from behind. Fear instantaneously settled in and I headed to the safety of the grass. My friend was not so wisely alert. Unaware of the oncoming threat he foolishly stayed to one side of the sidewalk anticipating a simple fly-by. How wrong he was. Unconfident in his ability to pull off a clean pass, the rollerblader veered too far to one side and caught some grass. The crash that ensued would have made the bravest of stunt men wince. After losing his footing on the grass, the blader managed to launch into a horizontal airborne spin. This flailing spin unfortunately ended with the blader mangling himself into a parking meter. Full medieval armor would not have saved this poor chap. The blader now lay like a slug. After some well- contained hysterical laughter, I approached the now stirring victim of the Hanover meter system. He claimed that he was "just dandy," which amused me, and then stated that he "crashed all the time," which quite unnerved me. After slowly making his way across the street by Reed Hall he approached the gradually sloping stretch from there towards the gym. I feared that for this individual rollerblader, the gradual slope would more resemble a vertical drop off a K-2 mountain. I did not get to see his descent but I'm sure it would have made Lee Majors proud.
Rollerblading should not cease on campus, far from it. I, myself, rollerblade sanely and in control. But I do think, however, that the campus is not a great choice for a training course. When skating consists of using your stopper so much that it's worn down to the metal bolts and sends a shower of sparks behind you, you need to practice on a flat area. And when you're not emitting fireworks from your heels and your idea of stopping is to veer off onto the grass and do a roller-safe tumble, you should be lapping Thompson arena's parking lot. In conclusion, some of us are safe rollerbladers and not a harm to pedestrians or ourselves. The crashing veteran who slammed into the meter is not ready to be flying around campus. But, for instance, when I see Scott Peach '99 skating around campus in his black spandex bodysuit and pink visor, I have no fear in the world.
