In the weeks following the tragic death of Jessica Dubroff, the bright-eyed seven-year-old who captured the hearts of millions of Americans as she attempted to become the youngest person ever to fly across the continent, the media was flooded with stories criticizing Jessica's parents.
Debate followed over whether or not American parents push their children beyond the appropriate limits. While the press thrives at times on the brilliant success stories of young superstars, too often what begins as a cover story of hopes and dream, ends in one of tragedy and failure for which the parents are ultimately blamed.
The story of Jessica Dubroff is unique and is different from the tale of Jennifer Capriati, the young tennis star, or that of Olympic gymnast Kim Zmeskal. However, what these stories do share are the lives of unique individuals, young women who aspired towards greatness, who were backed by parents with hopes and dreams for their precious children, and who faced tremendous pressure from the media who monitored their every move.
Oftentimes the press tends to focus on those dramatic stories which will sell -- tales of children crumbling under the pressure of stardom and falling short of the unreachable dreams set before them by unrelenting parents with selfish motives.
In the April 22 issue of Time magazine, Elizabeth Gleick argues that "a vicious cycle has been set in motion. Parents who live through their kids produce children who grow up feeling they have missed out on childhood, a time when play, pure and simple, with all its lively, unstructured freedom, should be paramount."
Two days earlier, it was disturbing to see one of this nation's finest columnists, Russell Baker of the New York Times, publish an op-ed piece entitled, "The Demon Success." Baker writes cynically of "hard-driving" parents, arguing that "parents who make their children's lives hell in order to make the parents proud of themselves are a commonplace of American life."
I wish to shed some light on the matter with some personal reflections on the story of my own sister, Brandi Siegel, who is currently a member of the United States Rhythmic Gymnastics Team and an Olympic-hopeful.
What began as a simple childhood hobby at age seven, nine years later has turned into a dream come true, far exceeding any and all expectations that any of us had. Now, at age 16, one of eight members on the U.S. Rhythmic Gymnastics Group, Brandi is currently in the most intense stages of her training -- competing for one of six spots on the 1996 Olympic Team. Her event, Group Rhythmic, which consists of five women performing a synchronized routine, will be featured for the first time as an official Olympic event this summer in Atlanta.
In fact, for the past two years, she has been living with seven other athletes in Downers Grove, Ill., training every morning from 7 to 10 a.m., attending a full schedule of classes at the local public high-school from 10:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., and then returning to the gym for a full afternoon of training, only to return to stack of homework which sometimes takes until 2 a.m. to finish.
Having moved away from home permanently, Brandi has not only been able to acclimate to her new school, leaving all of her friends and family behind in Miami, but she has been able to maintain a 3.7 GPA and was recently inducted into her school's National Honor Society.
But not every waking moment is golden. As a brother, I can hardly express what it is like to receive those teary-eyed phone calls late at night, asking for help on a physics problem which is only the start of four hours of homework after a full day of intense training, or those phone calls wishing to just go home. But understandably, this is all part of the life of a person who is truly dedicated to a sport and a dream. At this level of intensity, the temptations to just pack up and quit become a reality. Only with the support of parents and family members who give it their all to keep the flame alive, can athletes at this level survive the emotional and physical demands they are faced with on a daily basis. Baker, Gleick, and the rest of the media who criticize "hard-driving" parents are so far detached from this experience that their arguments become inaccurate, and while attempting to appease the public, their own characters begin to reflect a pursuit of mediocrity.
There is not a doubt in my mind that when Brandi had her first silver medal placed around her neck last year at the Pan American Games in Argentina, and when she was awarded her second silver medal in Cairo, Egypt at the Four Continent Games, she felt not the slightest regret that she "missed out on her childhood."
If only more parents encouraged their children to shoot for the stars and to strive for excellence, and not accept the mediocrity which so much of this nation's youth is now settling for, we would all benefit from the inspiring lives of our country's finest young people.
