Yesterday's men's lacrosse game could have been the biggest shoot that did not include postal employees in years if the University of Vermont's offense had been able to penetrate the iron curtain of Dartmouth's defense.
Yesterday's game could have been a hard-nosed defensive battle if UVM had held the lean mean scoring machine Scott Hapgood '97 to under five goals.
Yesterday's game could have been an epic tale of two teams battling with pride and determination to attain the status of "the champion" if UVM had found some way to slow down the high-powered Big Green lacrosse team.
As Vermont discovered, all the "could have been's" in the world do not win lacrosse games. UVM failed to satisfy any of these conditions, and the fans at Memorial Field had to be satisfied with an old-fashioned romp and stomp lacrosse jam session as the Big Green rolled to a 25-9 victory.
Although UVM's men's lacrosse team is used to the homey New England charm of Burlington, the Catamounts crossed over Route 91 into the Granite yesterday and were exposed to the darker, violent side of New England, where giants like Tom Scott '96 and Hapgood festoon the goalies with blistering shots and where punishing hitters like Tim Kennedy '96 line the field with the carcasses of players who they decommission.
UVM came into the game streaking hot, having won four of its last five games. Dartmouth, on the other hand, had hit a slump, as it came out of a two-game losing streak.
However, the fans at Memorial Field witnessed a role reversal yesterday as Dartmouth demonstrated its dominance by defeating the demoralized Catamounts.
The Big Green clicked on all cylinders as they controlled the game on both ends of the field.
The Big Green defense stifled any hope that UVM had of turning the butchering into some resemblance of a competition.
In addition to his usual ruthless defensive presence, Justin "Mr. Woodman" Boyd '96 bolstered Dartmouth's offense by giving himself the greatest birthday present of all, as he scored his fourth goal of the season.
Ryan Mulrooney '96 contributed to Dartmouth's rides, as he man-handled Catamounts all over the field. Matt Raben '96 also provided a storm trooper-esque mentality to the defense as he disciplined anyone who had the audacity to carry the ball against him.
Besides the usual suspects, Dangerous Dan Gans '98 played strong defense in his first start for the Big Green.
If Dartmouth's defense killed UVM's hopes of winning, then the Big Green offense finished off the job by thoroughly cremating the decrepit Vermont defense.
"We had a rough one last week, so we really came out to rock-and-roll today because, you know, we like to party," Hapgood said.
The "Great Scott" attack line of Scott Watts '97, Scott Hapgood, and Tom Scott '96 repeated previous performances, leading the way with a hat trick of hat tricks, or nine goals for those of you who were under the impression that there would be no math involved.
As he has done all season, Brian Merrit '97 provided emotional leadership for the team. Besides sparking the offense by providing the first blemish to the scoreboard, Merrit made an acrobatic goal, rifling a shot on his way to the ground after getting pummeled by a Catamount defenseman.
Unfortunately for UVM, Dartmouth's second team was just as brutal as the first. When Dartmouth Coach Tim Nelson called off the big dogs, the Big Green back-ups continued to put the big hurt on UVM. "Gorgeous" George Wisecarver '99 continued his tenure on the stat sheet with his sixth goal of the season.
The freshmen dynamic duo of attack, Jay Tatum and Gary Stern, each found his way to the back of the goal a pair of times. With perhaps the angriest goal of the season, Tim Caban '96 ripped a shot past the overwhelmed Vermont goalie.
Now that Dartmouth's walk in the country with Vermont is over, it must look ahead to its most formidable opponent of the season, as the number one team in the country, the Princeton Tigers, visit Memorial Field this Saturday at 1:00 p.m.
