To the Dartmouth Community:
I am writing to you in an effort to clear up as well as to apologize for my recent actions. I believe that I have harmed the Dartmouth community by my senseless, malicious act and I am very regretful of what I did. My actions were unjustified and immature. I made a mistake, but I admitted to what I did and am deserving of the consequences that I am handed. I realize the seriousness of my actions and I understand that I am responsible for my behavior. I am willing to go to any extreme to rectify this situation and I hope that this letter serves as a good beginning.
I have learned many lessons in these past few weeks. I understand that my act was not as "harmless" as I intended it to be. At the time, I did not think, nor mean for my action to be regarded as hateful and racist, but looking back, it would be difficult to interpret it any other way. There is no justification for what I did and there are no excuses to be made. I was wrong.
The aftermath of my action has been very difficult to deal with. When I walk around campus or I am in the classroom, it is very difficult to admit to others simply who I am. I am very embarrassed of what I did. In these last few weeks I have learned how it feels to have people write hateful things about you and be alienated. I know that I deserve these consequences, but Jonathan Jun '98 and Michael Yoo '98 as well as the rest of the community, certainly did not deserve to be treated by me as if they had been the ones that did wrong.
There is another aspect regarding the aftermath of my actions that has also bothered me considerably. How have I changed the community's perspective of what Dartmouth is and stands for? Is it a community filled with racism and hatred? I know that when I selected Dartmouth as the institution to continue my growth as a student and an individual that it was a place that prided itself on student diversity, academic excellence and a family atmosphere -- a place where you don't have to lock your doors. From my actions, I have not only distorted and disregarded the aspect and value of student diversity, but I have also harmed the family atmosphere notion by disrespecting members of the Dartmouth community. I know that words cannot be taken back nor forgiven easily, I just hope that some good can come out of my ignorance.
I am truly sorry for my actions, but I am even more sorry for the pain, grief and division that I may have caused in the community. To the people who thought it would be humorous to write "chink" on a downtown apartment door -- it wasn't, and I'm sorry if you thought it was acceptable since I was ignorant and insensitive enough to do so before. Would you "jump off the bridge" if I did? I don't think so. I have seen what I have done to the community and I hope that you can see what you have done as well.
I hope that the Dartmouth community will be able to forgive me as well as my actions. I honestly never intended to cause the harm that I have and to those of you whom I have offended and injured, especially Mr. Yoo and Mr. Jun, I offer the most heartfelt apologies.
