To the Editor:
I read with dismay the house editorial that appeared in Thursday's issue of The Dartmouth regarding the vigil for domestic violence awareness. You seem to have missed a crucial aspect and mission of the vigil: support.
As far as raising awareness about domestic violence is concerned, the names of the women who speak out are irrelevant -- what matters are the stories, the pain and the absolute strength and will to survive that are communicated.
Does it matter who, precisely, is assaulted or battered? Do you need to know all their names, to "validate" their experiences -- as though they are not really victims and survivors unless you know and can print their identities?
Those members of the community who wanted to speak out or wanted to support each other in that first step toward healing were at the vigil. Yes, it was open -- anyone could come by. But there is a difference between expressing and sharing pain with a small, somewhat anonymous group of supporters -- knowing that the act of speaking what has happened to you makes you more able to confront it yourself -- and advertising your victimization to the entire Dartmouth community.
What would this accomplish? For a woman who has not had time to heal, the reactions she might receive from her peers could be emotionally devastating. Your commentary mentions that "trust and faith in what (they) say" must be earned; why should she have to deal with the disbelief of others, when she has her own doubt, mistrust and guilt to worry about?
We all benefit from those women who are ready to openly identify themselves as survivors. Their ability to expose themselves and their vulnerability makes it easier for women who have not confronted their own pain to have courage. And in a perfect world, what The Dartmouth's editorial said would be right on the mark. Domestic violence is an issue that has been kept all too private (it is the leading cause of injury to women, however).
But your editorial implies that survivors of this sort of abuse who do not reveal themselves entirely have merely made an unwise decision, a poor choice. As though there is no pain involved, and no need to rebuild one's self-respect.
You forgot what an accomplishment it is to begin that healing process at all. You forgot that we weren't out there to physically change anything the other night, but to stand in solid support of all victims of domestic violence, and to invite them to confront the pain your very distanced editorial had no concept of.
I will not forget the stories told by peers and administrators the other night, by victims -- survivors. They do not deserve criticism. They deserve praise, and support.
They need to know how many women stood with tears in their eyes and could not speak.
