Students discuss dating scene

by Alicia Jennings | 7/20/94 5:00am

At a discussion about dating at Dartmouth Monday night, a group of students decided that the root of the problem with romantic relationships is BlitzMail.

The discussion, led by Health Education Coordinator Gabrielle Lucke, combined exercises and interactions to discuss various aspects of dating.

About 50 students attended the talk, titled "Can We Talk? Dating at Dartmouth: Can Men and Women Really Be Friends?" at Epsilon Kappa Theta sorority.

The audience was about two-thirds female.

Besides discussion, activities were held to facilitate interaction and demonstrate some of the particulars of college relationships.

Audience members paired off and introduced themselves to one another. The couples then met with other couples and each person introduced their respective partner.

The participants were asked to define friendship, dating and relationship.

They also listed what the group members wanted out of each of these categories.

Each group shared its list with the audience.

One group's members listed "BlitzMail" under friendship and "No BlitzMail" under the dating category.

This sparked a discussion on the pros and cons of BlitzMail, the College's electronic mail system.

Participants said they felt that people play too many games with BlitzMail, such as waiting three days to return messages so as not to look too eager or writing things that would not normally be said in person or over the telephone.

Following the presentation of the groups' definitions, the entire group discussed the progression of friendships and relationships between men and women.

Lucke shared her own story of the progression of the relationship between with her husband -- from "hooking-up" in college, to friendship after an alumni reunion, to a romantic connection that scared them both and made them "run-away" from each other.

There are three important aspects of relationships -- intimacy, commitment and passion -- Lucke said.

Lucke said intimacy was a building block for forming a bond with someone.

Passion is "the lusty infatuation stuff," Lucke said. She added passion is an important component of a dating relationship, but it alone is not enough for a serious relationship.

Finally, Lucke said commitment is a feeling of loyalty, but that it can be practiced by one person in a relationship -- as in the case of a "crush."

Participants were happy with the discussion but found some flaws with its setup.

Dave Levin '96 said, "I think it went really well, especially talking about dating versus relationships."

But, Levin said there were things he would change in the discussion.

"If they were to do it again, they should have more discussion and less ice-breaking," he said. "The discussion was more interesting and fun."

Anh-Thu Cunnion '96 said she agreed with Levin,

"It pointed out a lot of important factors and made people think about their own life issues, but didn't address dating at Dartmouth specifically," she said.

Theta co-sponsored the event with Amarna undergraduate society and Chi Gamma Epsilon fraternity.

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