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Human ecotones: where the mind meets the land

(05/22/01 9:00am)

Isobars of cosmopolitania radiate, decreasing, from Hanover, the air in each subsequent ring more rarified, temperature and pressure relating inversely. With increasing distance from DHMC, the Hop and multilevel parking-lots at 7 Leb, "culture" slips, giving air to "people" and "land." Not to say there is less, or even not the same amount, of culture as one nears the borders of the Upper Valley, then breaches the peaks enclosing it, or that there are fewer people and less land at its epicenter. Rather, with a change of degree, external tension subsides, the mass of cars and four-way stop lights and spray-on lawn relents, and internal conflicts between self and real property, or self and another self, gain privilege, or at least light.

Young, unproven talent clutters NBA draft lottery

(05/22/01 9:00am)

This Sunday the NBA draft lottery determined the order in which team wills be drafting their young prospects approximately one month from today, but for the first time, it seems that the order does not really matter. The results of the lottery grant the Washington Wizards the number one pick, followed by the L.A. Clippers, the Atlanta Hawks, and the Chicago Bulls.

To Recognize Truth

(05/22/01 9:00am)

There have been many blanket statements cast about in recent months regarding the status and future of the Greek system. Although I have tried as hard as possible to remain somewhat detached and to refrain from engaging in this debate -- the ridiculousness of it tends to create a desire within me to do something rash -- a statement by the (yet again) anonymous Students for a New and Better Dartmouth, coupled by the faculty vote, has forced me to offer this humble comment.

After Dartmouth

(05/22/01 9:00am)

Before I begin this editorial, I must take a break and go to class. My thoughts, in a compressed, stream-of-consciousness sort-of style: My neighbors can see and hear everything I do and they laugh at me (I don't care), butch it up, lock the door, did I brush my teeth? (no, the campus will simply have to pay the penalty), the sun is shining in full force, slow down on these stairs, you're going to hit your head one day, throw open the door, yes world, I'm black, it's 80 degrees, I'm wearing corduroy slacks, people are staring at me, butch it up, Student Loans is pestering me again (something about an "Exit Interview" -- are they offering me a job?), I have to re-file my major card, what is he looking at? (yeah, I'm black, what's your problem?), butch it up, she stopped speaking to me (must be about my despising the Greek system), wow, in procuring educational loans, I'm now over $20,000 in debt, my hair smells even though I just washed it (black hair is sometimes so agonizingly difficult to maintain), I'm late for class, why are there so many people on the Green, what is it to them -- a beach or something?, butch it up, ha, a student driver (I'll retard my movements so as to slow them down -- crush their monumental sense of Land Roving entitlement), onto the sidewalk and then the dirt and gravel of the Green, it's amazing that they've transformed the game of frisbee into a sport: look at them, sweat-drenched, panting, content, look at me, out of shape, skinny, butch it up, people are staring at me, there's another black person (nod hello), two more black people (sometimes they travel together -- for protection), people can smell my hair, they're wrinkling their noses in dissatisfaction (Dartmouth students have such keen olfactory senses, there's no fooling them), lots of naked legs (my twigs, my walking stilts, are covered in protective corduroy cloth), eeeewwww! she doesn't shave her legs or armpits (I recognized her long ago as a social misfit), butch it up, people are walking around me, either my hair smells or I'm not walking fast enough (it's nearly time for class), the Dartmouth bells are ringing that '80s song that everyone knows except me (can it be my socioeconomic/racial background?), I should know that song, I should be wearing shorts, my hair shouldn't smell, I'm representing the whole African American race here, oh, why can't I just go back to Detroit where I don't have to worry about race, it's not them, it's you, you stigmatize yourself and then blame it on the white people, that's not true, oh yes it is, you think about race, you imagine the white people moving silently away from you in the street and in class and in Food Court, that's not true, they really do that, no they don't you imagine it all, no, I want to improve Dartmouth for students of color so that they'll feel like they belong, no that's not true, you want the notoriety and celebrity of being an op-ed columnist, well maybe that's true, keep walking across the Green, butch it up, nod to the black person (why must I say hello to all the black people?), I'm going to make this car stop for me, it better, ha, another student (slowed her down), oh here we go, butch it up, three big white young men (they also travel together -- for protection), I'll have to move onto the grass to accommodate their massive bulk, why must I be afraid of them?, Dartmouth Hall, up the hill, I hate Hanover, mountains, DOC trip, couscous, mountains, inclines, hills, walking up hills, tiring, level out hill, or I will pound you down, finally Dartmouth Hall, into the building, cool, butch it up still, my hair smells, I don't care, let's learn.

Megadeth returns in force with 'The World Needs a Hero'

(05/21/01 9:00am)

"What the world needs is an enema but there are too many assholes in the world to choose from to know where to put the hose, so a hero would be my second choice" says the Megadeth founder Dave Mustaine. To the casual reader, this might seem like utter b.s., just another no talent guy trying to lead a crusade and not really qualified to be writing a major music album. To those same people, that statement about the founder's new album title would cause a scowl at the least and perhaps a gesture of more profound disgust. But to those of us initiated into the heavy metal fraternity who are somewhat familiar with the founder, this just made us kick back and grin our best 100-megawatt smile.