Shores: A Semi-Official Petition to End Dartmouth’s Puritanical War on Outdoor Drinking Games
The weather is warm, the birds are chirping and Dartmouth students are once more emerging from their respective dens of sin and iniquity to bask in the ephemeral glory of the New Hampshire spring. Just a few days ago, a few of the good brothers of Theta Delta Chi fraternity and I decided to play a game of pong. This game of pong, however, came with a twist. Instead of playing in the muck and squalor of the TDX basement, we thought, hell, why not go play pong outside? So we set up a table on our lawn, cranked up a speaker and got to work. It felt pretty innocent, perhaps even wholesome — just a couple of good friends having a few beers on a Saturday afternoon and enjoying the good weather. Or so we thought. As soon as they got wind of our outdoor pong game, Safety and Security officers arrived with a response time likely faster than the local police. After a cordial greeting, we were told by the Safety and Security officers that our game was, in fact, against the rules. Specifically, students are forbidden to drink “outside of, or on the grounds of, residence halls, Greek facilities, undergraduate and senior societies, academic affinities, special interest houses or other student organizational facilities and in any other specified areas including decks, porches, fire escapes and roofs,” to quote Dartmouth’s Official Alcohol and Drug Use Policy.