Riding the Pine: NBA Finals Western Conference
What’s up guys? Fish and Hank here. First things first, we have a few administrative details to discuss. You may have noticed our blog is now titled “Riding the Pine” instead of “Writing the Pine.” This is no mistake. Due to the fact that not a single one of our so-called friends understood or liked our title we decided to go with a more conservative approach.
This week, we are bringing you our 2014 NBA playoff first round upsets. Call up your bookie and cash out your life savings because we promise you at least one of our teams may win a single game. We didn’t even look at the sleep-inducing Eastern Conference for our sleepers since there is a 100% chance that the Pacers and the Heat will meet in the Eastern Conference Finals and an even better chance that the Heat will advance from there. On the other hand, the Western Conference has at least six teams with legitimate chances to reach the Western Conference Finals: the Spurs, Rockets, Trail Blazers, Thunder, Clippers and Warriors.
The two most intriguing first-round matchups are the Rockets (ranked fourth) against the Trail Blazers (ranked fifth) and the Clippers (ranked third) against the Warriors (ranked sixth). Primarily because we are forcing ourselves to pick sleepers for your sake, our young, naïve and misunderstood readers, Hank is taking P-land over H-city and Fish is rolling with the G-State Dubs over the City of Angels (the Los Angeles Losers). We’ll argue. You decide.
Disclaimer: Although these predictions may seem eerily accurate, all predictions were written before the first day of games (on Thursday night if you're curious). In our case, foresight is 20/20.
Hank: The Trail Blazers-Rockets matchup is not your grandmother’s first-round playoff matchup. It showcases the most explosive offensive encounter in this year’s playoffs. Every time the two teams faced off this year, both posted more than 100 points. Historically, the Trail Blazers come in with a chip on their shoulder having fallen to the Rockets the three times they have met in the first round of the playoffs and having lost the regular season series with the Rockets 3-1. The Rockets are a franchise capable of transforming themselves into a dynasty, and immediate success would legitimize the decision to pluck Howard from Mike D’Antoni’s soft, recently fired hands. Both teams rank within the top six in offensive efficiency with Portland holding an edge in turnovers. Both teams rank in the top three for points per game, while also ranking in the bottom 10 in points allowed per game. Suffice it to say that the teams can do much to hurt each other offensively and little to stop each other on the other end of the floor.
Despite both teams having a 54-28 record, most of the smart, credible sportswriters of our time who happen to run in the same circles/brush shoulders with Fish and me have the Rockets winning a short series. They argue that the firepower from James Harden and Dwight Howard will be too much for the passive defense of Portland to handle. I agree with my esteemed and sophisticated colleagues that star power will largely decide this series because my limited basketball knowledge prevents me from making an argument grounded in anything other than that, but I prophesize the dynamic duo of LaMarcus Aldridge and Damian Lillard (after Phil Hanlon, the most recent member of the 100 mil club) will rise above the more primetime Harden-Howard combo.
Aldridge and Lillard, the “monks” of the NBA, only care about one thing: winning championships. Captain of the Trail Blazers and All Star center, LaMarcus Aldridge is your consummate franchise player in glaring contrast to Dwight Howard, the antithesis of a one-team guy. When all is said and done, Aldridge’s legacy will be that he ignited the Portland franchise, and Howard’s at best will be that people hated him less after his Los Angeles debacle because he managed to grab a title or two. Although my argument is primarily based on liking and disliking people who I don’t know, the regular season numbers point to the clash of Aldridge and Howard being the deciding factor in this series. In the four games this season versus the Rockets, Aldridge posted a monstrous 107 points, his highest against any team this season. Throw in 62 rebounds for a 15.5 rebound per game average, and it’s clear that Howard has not been able to slow Aldridge’s production in the paint. Aldridge’s herculean efforts down low will reward the stellar Portland shooting supporting cast with plenty of open shots around the perimeter. Portland takes the series in six. Aldridge will post a double-double every game of the series, average 30 points a game and pull in 14 rebounds per game.
Fish: Looks like Hank decided to go bold with his upset pick, taking the scrappy underdog Trail Blazers and their 54-28 record over the mighty, leviathan Houston Rockets with their awe-inspiring 54-28 record. For my pick, I’ve turned to the actually interesting first round matchup between the Golden State Warriors and the Los Angeles Clippers. The third-seeded Clips are currently a trendy pick to advance to the NBA Finals and bring home the Larry O’Brien Trophy. But if our readers know one thing about me, it’s that I am not trendy. For solely that reason, I’ve decided to pick the Warriors to advance all the way to the Western finals. The Warriors are another team that packs an incredible offensive punch. With three-point marksmen like Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson (the two most efficient three-point shooters in the NBA who have shot more than 450 threes), the Warriors have the opportunity to get hot and shoot the Clippers right out of the building.
Many of ESPN’s analysts (who unanimously picked the Clippers to win this series) have pointed to the combination of Blake Griffin and Chris Paul as too much for the Warriors to handle, especially since Andrew Bogut will be missing the series due to injury. I disagree vehemently. Though Griffin often skied majestically toward the rim this season, I fear that he will burst into figurative flames (and not in the good “on fire” way, in the bad way). Though Griffin was probably this season’s third-best player in the NBA and the Warriors are missing their best defensive big man, I still adamantly refuse to consider the possibility that Griffin will succeed in the playoffs. The Warriors’ incredible home-court advantage will also serve to cow the coward Griffin into submission and propel Curry and Thompson to even greater glory. The Clippers have only won at Oracle Arena (the home of the Warriors) once since November 6, 2009 (my 15th birthday) and I don’t expect them to start breaking that cold streak now. The Warriors will win all three of their home games, then go into Staples Center for game 7 and, propelled by 40-point games by both Curry and Thompson as well as a 0-point, 0-rebound game by Griffin, destroy the former Buffalo Braves in their own gym. The Warriors will go on to upset the Thunder as well, but that’s a prediction for another blog. Down with Griffin.
Hank and Fish: Our arguments are driven almost exclusively by hatred and not by any real basketball knowledge. There is a heavy post-season basketball theme emerging in our virginal, ostensibly Dartmouth-centric sports blog. We even changed our name. This blog has left us with more questions than answers. We are lost in this world, wandering aimlessly in the dark with nothing more than a scarcely lit candle of hatred to guide our way. Please help. Who are we?