When I told my parents that I had received $7,000 from Dartmouth to drive around the country drinking, researching beer and hanging out in national parks, my dad asked me if I was an alcoholic. I thought it was a joke, but as it turns out, he was really concerned.
My adventures began in a desire to road trip and see America’s beauty, drink lots of wonderful beer and have someone else pay for it. This summer I drove almost 15,000 miles, stopping at breweries along the way in order to meet with brewers to talk about the Craft Beer Revolution. Starting in Hanover at the beginning of summer and going clockwise around the country, I was able to go to 10 national parks, visit friends and family and drink, on average, two pints of high quality beer a day. (The average pint cost me from $6 to $15.) To achieve this feat, I had to write a 15-page proposal convincing the anthropology department that I wasn’t just planning on getting drunk on their dime. Now I’m actually making this journey into my senior thesis by writing about how lots of white, middle-class men with beards are turning barley, hops and water into something magical.
The bubble extends further than just our lack of caring for or understanding of current events. Beer at Dartmouth is very different from beer in the real world. The pale water-beer we drink to get drunk doesn’t taste like a bourbon aged sour from Oregon or a blood orange and lime saison from Vermont. Beer can be beautiful, exciting, refreshing or spicy. There are people out there who have given everything up -— secure, million-dollar jobs — in order to brew beer. Some of them make mediocre stuff that tastes like what our frats pour on the floors. Others are artists who play with flavors to make beers so complex that make you question the existence of God, like the magnificence of a piece of music or even a painting.
This summer, I learned more about beer than I ever thought I would. One man I met could tell you everything you ever wanted to know about Saccharomyces, Brettanomyces and Lactobacillus, water chemistry and how to run a small business — all with an art degree. His beer is now some of the most sought-after in the world. He is a brewing genius, and I know that even a Ph.D. in molecular biology or chemistry would have a hard time keeping up with him. I used to think that people who did these “lower-level” jobs, the ones who serve us and make our lives better, were somehow inferior. Now I suppose that would be similar to saying that da Vinci was an idiot because he wasn’t a doctor. Many of the people I met were artists who used a beverage to craft something distinct.
As much fun as my research was, there were days when I wouldn’t see a single person I knew. No one really wants to text or call you when they’re working 80 hours a week and you’re complaining because the Grand Canyon was a little too crowded at sunset. I ate way more fast food than I’m proud of, and was lucky to never get bed bugs from the cheap hotels I frequented. Life on the road was tough, stressful and, at times, really boring.
Most people think it is hilarious and slightly terrible that I was able to get funding to drink beer all summer. The absurdity hit me when I was at a July 4 party with some brewers. We tasted some fantastic beers from all over the country, things that took a lot of beer trading to get.
(Side note: Beer trading is when people ship sought-after beers from one part of the world to another in return for one or more beers. It technically it isn’t selling a beer because that’s illegal and the dollar price is not equal to the rarity of the beer. Beer is an incredibly localized product, and most rare beers are only available at the brewery itself and only then after hours of waiting in line to taste it. So collectors and traders, rather than trying to go to all of these places, join online forums of beer traders and collectors and ship beers around the world in order to try new things.)
I was getting a lot of special treatment. Then one of the guys took me outside and told me that we needed to hydrate. He proceeded to stab holes in a couple of Pabst Blue Ribbons, and we downed them very, very quickly on the porch. Pabst Blue Ribbon is affectionately called “brewer’s water” because it doesn’t taste like anything.
Another thing I learned was to take seriously the idea that there is a beer for everyone, even if he or she claims to not drink beer. The complexity of the beverage goes further than light versus dark or hoppy versus malty. There are beers that taste like juice or salted caramel. Refreshing, hard- working, hot-weather beers. Sweet and smoky dessert beers. Brewers get to experiment with anything and everything around them, and most believe in using local ingredients. Maple syrup, blueberries, sage and juniper are found in beers all across the country.
They say “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” After this summer, I believe it. There is no drink more humble than beer. Beers can go with any food at any time of day. Beer brought the Pilgrims to Plymouth Rock. Beer let me see the country and be a local in every town. Beer now has me working at barhop and putting together their beer and cider lists. Beer is the best drink in the world.
Cheers.
