Though we constantly get emails from the registrar about applying for our degrees, letters from Class Council with Commencement information and blitzes from Career Services describing application deadlines and resume drops, there’s something about winter that makes us feel like freshmen all over again. We have reassembled our freshman year intramural hockey team and are taking the Green League by storm.
And yet, as Taylor Swift once said, everything has changed. We’re seniors. But though it’s undeniable that we are young no more, some things have remained static — we still have a completely rational fear of losing our phalanges to frostbite and we also still have each other.
Amanda: Throughout my life, my mother has tried her best to impart wise and helpful advice to me. And I have done my best, both intentionally and unintentionally, to ignore all of it.
Example: “Keep cash on you at all times. You never know what might happen.”
My mother was right ... I should, and I don’t. Here’s what did happen — over this past weekend, I took a rogue trip to Montreal. Approximately three minutes before I was supposed to meet up with my friends, I started to pack and didn’t even curse myself this time for waiting until the last minute. My old habits don’t die hard ... they simply don’t die.
To say that the funds in my bank account were “running low” would be a gross understatement. The situation was not so bad that I was down to my last few cents, but it was pretty close. With that in mind, I dug through my purse for stray cash, checked the bottom of my jewelry box for loose bills and shoved everything I could find into my wallet next to the lone dollar bill that was snuggled between my worthless debit card and expired license. In total, I scrounged together $15 in cash. I knew that wouldn’t be enough to carry me through the entirety of my trip, so I resorted to Plan B. I pulled out the Visa gift card I had been saving since Christmas, figuring there was no better time to use it.
As my friends and I drove away from Dartmouth, it occurred to me that I should check to make sure the gift card would work in Canada. I’m not exactly sure why the thought occurred to me, but it did. So I checked and the card wouldn’t — U.S. only. Therefore, I had exactly $15 in cash on me, which didn’t really mean much since I owed one of my friends $20. I was barely able to work my way out of that pickle before reaching the Canadian border and putting my phone on airplane mode.
Seanie: In my first winter on campus since 2011, I’ve noticed several behaviors in myself that are reminiscent of freshman year. The conditions of the Hanover winter have caused me to inadvertently act 18, homesick and wild again, like a Pavlovian-conditioned dog. For one, the frequency of ordering EBAs from my phone has reached its highest since 2011. Meanwhile, my ability to stay awake for long enough to actually eat the EBAs is at its lowest. Last Saturday morning, I woke up to a mountain of untouched takeout containers on my futon.
I’m also reliving my freshman year in that I’ve been displaying all the classic symptoms of a Dartmouth student from Southern California in the winter. I’ve essentially overdosed on Vitamin D supplements, and I still experience a general sense of malaise. I’ve found myself consistently on the verge of tears, such that whenever I drink a sip of alcohol or hear the first three chords of a sad song, I become the Trevi Fountain. My overactive imagination produces super unsettling dreams, and that little voice inside all our heads telling us that we’re doing horribly and no one likes us has been quite loud in mine.
The tactics I used freshman year to combat these symptoms and stay happy weren’t medically sound, lasting or normal, but I believed in them and continue to use them today. When walking around campus with headphones, I resist the urge to listen to Radiohead because it matches the weather. Instead, I play something ridiculous. Walking around in public listening to “Cotton-Eyed Joe” with no one knowing is oddly satisfying.
There is also something strangely mood-lifting about perusing Amazon and almost buying the strangest products. Right now, the website is highlighting a Post-It dispenser in the shape of a shoe and an entire mysterious section called “Aquatic Decor.”
My formerly pre-med friend makes me watch medical documentaries with her, and they are extremely effective. Also, “Blackfish” (2013) — not uplifting, but so, so good. And spending Thursday nights playing intramural hockey with my freshman-year team has the uncanny ability to remind me that, despite my upcoming forcible removal from this college, some things can stay the same.
Yours,
Lucy & Ethel
