Most definitions of a sibling relationship are highly subjective. Some prefer to casually coexist like the acquaintances you wave to at the grocery store, while others swear by the deep-rooted blood ties that unite their souls. Regardless of where you stand, there are some general things that we can universally agree you do not want to associate with your sibling: You do not want to think about your little sister engaging in a dance floor make out, nor do you want to watch your big brother collapse in the corner of a frat basement after one too many games of pong. If you don't want proof of your actions on the Internet, you probably don't want your sibling to witness them, either. Certain lines are not meant to be crossed.
When you decide to go to college together, those lines are quickly erased.
Jack Coster '13 spent his freshman year at Dartmouth with his sister Kate Coster '10. He relied on her as his guide to the new social scene so he could be the kid who knew what was going on. He'd poke into her off-campus house around dinnertime and casually ask what she had planned for the night. Then, he would immediately pass the information on to all of his friends.
"I crashed Derby after she explicitly told me not to," Coster said. "There were definitely times when she was put off by my presence at certain events."
While he said there were times when his sister voiced her displeasure, Coster concluded that they spent the perfect amount of time together at school for the most part.
"At home, you know when you're going to see your sibling," Coster said. "Here, you see each other living your own lives, which is interesting."
A particularly sobering moment for his sister was the first time he beat her at pong, according to Coster.
"She taught me how to play, and over Green Key I beat her," he said. "It was a profoundly depressing moment for her."
Maura Farley '13 ended up in a class with her sister Kate Farley '10 every term of her freshman year. As a result, they grew much closer than they ever were in high school.
"We interacted a lot more in social settings," Maura Farley said. "It was fun seeing that side of her."
Farley said she had a positive experience taking classes with her sister, as she always had someone to answer her questions and study with.
Kevin Woram '13 also had an older sibling on campus during his freshman year, but he also had to play the protective role when his younger brother came to visit. Woram said he felt the need to look out for him, adding that he was pretty sure his little brother ended up completing the Ledyard Challenge before even applying to Dartmouth. However, Woram still felt like he maintained an open and understanding relationship with both of his siblings.
"There's nothing we needed to hide from each other," Woram said. "Neither of us are a goody two-shoes."
Liz Niehaus '14, who attended Dartmouth at the same time as her sister Emily Niehaus '12 found that the best way to maneuver the sibling dynamic at Dartmouth was to respect one another and set some boundaries.
"It worked out best for us to have our own spheres," Niehaus said. "When they did connect, it was fine, but we preferred them separate."
In general, most Dartmouth siblings agreed that having a brother or sister on campus is more of an advantage than a burden on their social life, despite the occasional blurring of sibling boundaries. So while you may currently cringe at the thought of bumping into your sibling in a frat, it will be nice to have someone who will fully appreciate your Dartmouth experience with you when you reminisce 20 years down the line. At that point, you can laugh about all your boozy encounters and public indiscretions, knowing full well that they understand you. Those embarrassing stories will eventually form a cherished bond that can never be broken.
Until they rat you out to Mom and Dad. Then all bets are off.
