It's the first week of spring, and sure enough, it's always snowy in Hanover. And by the way, I just checked the forecast for you. Weekly high of 53 degrees, snow on Wednesday, rain on Thursday. Welcome back everybody!
Today, per custom, I fell asleep to the soothing white noise of the 12 p.m. SportsCenter. They had live coverage of the New York Jets' press conference introducing extraordinarily mediocre and exceptionally Christian ex-Denver Bronco's quarterback Tim Tebow. The ordeal lasted a little over a half an hour, and while admittedly I was half-asleep, I couldn't believe the kind of questions (and attention) he was getting from the New York media.
Not only is the guy, by most standards, terrible at quarterback, but he's also currently a backup quarterback. I guess you could say that Tebow, by some misguided fascination we have with the overly-evangelical, is sports' version of Snooki. We're willing to sacrifice quality of content for pure entertainment.
Here's the truth: Sports media is no different than entertainment media. You can see it in every All-American Rejects-filled montage on SportsCenter. People want to be told stories about famous characters, and pro athletes are no different. There are heroes, villains, comedic figures and other personas that capture our attention.
It's the media outlets' job to spin them into stories for us to mindlessly gobble up and I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I think that the storytelling that goes into sports is one of the most underrealized parts of being a fan. You may not have seen it before, but every time you turn on the TV or open up a newspaper, the characters are right in front of your eyes.
Final Four villain: John Calipari, coach, University of Kentucky
Notorious for illegal recruiting methods, Calipari is even more reputable for the amount of one-and-done talents his teams produce. Whether it's been at UMass, Memphis or UK, Calipari has made his living on recruiting five-star high school players that leave after their freshman years. In 2010, his first year at Kentucky, his team boasted four freshmen who were selected in the first round of the NBA draft, including No. 1 overall pick John Wall.
But the means by which he convinces such high profile recruits to come play for him remain dubious. Two of his four Final Four appearances one with UMass and one with Memphis have been vacated due to recruiting violations. And what's even better, for all his relative success, Coach Cal has never won a National Championship. Crime doesn't pay.
NHL hero: Alexander Ovechkin, center, Washington Capitals
What's the most endearing feature of a quality protagonist? At least for me, it's somebody that lives every boy's dream. Alex Ovechkin embodies that ideal. The 26-year-old Russian recently signed a 13-year, $124-million-dollar contract extension in January, but don't think he let the money (or fame) go to his head.
He still lives with his mom and dad (according to him, they take care of all the cooking and cleaning), takes only his PlayStation 3 on road trips (watch "24/7" on HBO) and plays his favorite sport for a living.
What's even better? His parents let his smoking hot tennis-playing girlfriend Maria Kirilenko live with them as well. So you're a millionaire, your mom makes you your favorite food every day and you get to do what you love daily ... I would never have left the house after high school.
Here's the topper: When the media attempted to attribute a recent goal scoring slump to him still living with his mom, he immediately responded by scoring in eight straight games. Don't mess with his mom.
PGA polarizing figure: Tiger Woods
Let me pose a question. Suppose two years ago, the moment when the Tiger Woods mistress scandal broke, he had responded by coming totally clean, admitting to his transgressions and completely distancing himself from the family man, wholesome brand image that was so profitable for his sponsors. Instead, imagine Tiger embracing the renegade, bad-boy, sex addict image the embodiment of someone who simply doesn't give a f*ck.
What if he just expedited the divorce process, willingly parted with half of his fortune and played golf the next weekend? Then imagine him not missing a beat and winning the next tournament. Would that make you like or hate him more? Whatever the case, it probably wouldn't even matter ... he'd be just as big of a deal.
Tiger Woods is a complex figure trying to make a comeback after a complete transfiguration of his personal and professional life. But either way, there's the same Tiger somewhere in there. What's that make you think?
