Amy Schuman '12 seems like the quintessential romantic. She crushes on guys and has a clear vision of her prince charming. For her, a perfect relationship would include movie dates, hand-holding and nordic skiing.
"What about the grand finale sex?" I asked.
"Not until marriage of course," she said, her demeanor growing serious.
A combination of hormones, freedom and alcohol intricately links sex with college social life. Around 80 percent of individuals between the ages of 20 and 24 have had sexual contact with the opposite sex, according to a March 2011 National Health Statistics report from the Center for Disease Control. Yes, many young people are having sex, but a sizable minority of students on campus choose to abstain.
The rationale for some lies in religion and faith. Reuben Hurst '14, a Mormon, said that his morals are "almost exclusively defined by religion."
"My religion is my reality. It is how I understand my world," Hurst said. "For sex, there is a Mormon law of chastity [before marriage] that I follow."
Drew Wong '12, a member of Christian Impact, emphasized that sex is related to the sanctity of marriage.
"Marriage is a special bond between two people," Wong said. "It is deep and unique so marriage and sex carry a certain gravity."
Hurst agreed, describing sex as an act of creation that brings people closer to God, and therefore one that should be taken seriously.
"As Mormons, we are in the image of God. That means the power to create is very sacred," Hurst said. "To bring someone into this world the purpose of sex is something that should be valued and tied to [marriage]."
For other students, the choice to abstain is not necessarily based on religion.
Wong said he grew up as a "good kid" and made a promise in middle school to avoid drugs, alcohol and sex. He feels personally fulfilled from setting and abiding by personal boundaries.
"When it comes down to it, I won't get physical with someone unless I'm absolutely serious about a possible very long future with that person," Wong said.
Schuman said she abstinence reflected not only her Christian faith, but also a sense of female empowerment. A female '12, who wished to remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of the subject, agreed, explaining that a "highly unpleasant" past relationship pushed her to commit to abstinence.
"Being kind of naive, I caved into pressure in the relationship and just went along with things," she said. "Abstinence is my way of taking control of my body again."
All three students interviewed say they have experienced no feelings of marginalization or pressures to have sex within Dartmouth's social scene. While they felt that the lack of pressure to have sex was a testament to the inclusivity and respectfulness of campus culture, students still expressed concern about the hook-up culture on campus.
Wong referred to the "walk of shame" as "one of the saddest things that can come out of the social scene a sense of wanting and getting something but not being fulfilled in the end."
Schuman said that seeing her friends' mistakes after they have bought into the hook-up culture has only reinforced her decision to remain abstinent.
"I just feel if I had sex now I would be selling myself short," Schuman said. "It would be cheap."
The decision to abstain often extends beyond religion. One male '13, who wished to remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of the subject, said he remains abstinent not for religious reasons he identifies as an atheist but rather for emotional reasons.
"Call me old school but I was raised to really know the girl emotionally to wait, love and respect her, and I don't see that happening in college," he said.
Unlike other students interviewed, he did express concern about being criticized for his views.
"I'd rather not be outed in public as some kind of prude, or antisocial," he said, when asked if he could be quoted by name. "I'd hate to be in a basement and think everyone's [saying], Oh look, it's the virgin.'"
College is a time of desensitization to things of the past. For many, Dartmouth is the first drink, first smoke, first time having sex. Yet with maturity comes a heightened pressure and sensitivity to social norms. Now more than ever is a time when we will challenge and solidify our personal values, which while mutable, we carry into our futures.
