Dear '15s, you all hail from a whopping 49 states and 54 countries all with different cultures and ways of life (trust me, I Googled it). However, whether you are a sweater-vest-wearing polo player from Connecticut or a kangaroo-loving Sheila (that means girl, right?) from Australia, there is one common bond that you and your classmates will all share during your time at the College: you will all eat in a Dartmouth dining hall.
Eating your first meals in college can be daunting no one wants to be stuck in the classic Cady-Herron-Mean-Girls scenario in which you end up eating on a toilet because you couldn't decide between the burnouts and plastics tables. But that will not happen at Dartmouth unless, that is, you enjoy taking your lunch in the spacious confines of the accessible bathroom in Collis.
This guide will help you navigate every dining facility at Dartmouth the layout, the things to avoid, and most importantly, the greatest hits that each one has to offer.
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Collis Cafe If the dining halls were members of your extended family, Collis Cafe would be your doting grandmother who sends you money every month because she can't remember the real date of your birthday. Collis can become your mecca of delicious homemade entres, baked goods, smoothies and made-to-order sushi that is, if you know how to navigate through it all. One of Collis' biggest highlights is the enormous selection of baked goods (they change every day!), which you will find arranged in the back corner. If you happen to see an English Matrimonial, a seven-layer bar or an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie, grab 10 to share and then pass them out. It's a really fantastic way to make friends with upperclassmen, especially seniors with dwindling DBA (the Dartmouth term for dining hall currency). If you are going to go for the smoothie, omelet, stir-fry or pasta (the last of which is only offered at dinner time) options, try to eat an early or late dinner to avoid the ridiculous lines. And you can always add your own vegetables to anything, just don't forget to pay for them first and get the receipt printed. Lastly, Collis is the only dining hall where you should get sushi, but if Sunja (the sushi lady) is not making it in front of you like she does on Tuesdays through Thursdays, the pre-made spicy tuna rolls in the fridge might as well be from the age of the dinosaurs.
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The Hop First things first, contrary to what the rest of this Freshman Issue may say, NEVER call it the Courtyard Cafe. On the list of things that scream out "I'M A FRESHMAN," that would be second only to wearing the nerdy blue Office of Residential Life keychain that you receive during Orientation. The Hop can be a really fantastic place to eat on campus the only catch is that getting to eat the signature dishes usually requires waiting in a long line. However, if you make it through the line and it happens to be breakfast time, get a waffle. Don't forget the real maple syrup right next to the toaster. Any other time, get a Billy Bob (steak, eggs, cheese, tortilla: the meal of champions). No one will ever suspect you're a freshman. Avoid the baked goods and bean burritos like the plague, but eat liberal quantities of chocolate pudding.
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Class of 1953 Commons This one is a little tricky. Although it is the main dining hall, it is as new to you as it is to the rest of the student body. This all-you-care-to-eat facility is the latest addition to the Dartmouth dining family. While I cannot tell you anything from experience, from what I have seen and heard, you have a lot to look forward to. There will be an international station that lets you design your own meal everything from various spice, vegetable and meat options, a pizza oven with daily changing toppings and an expanded bakery where you can watch desserts being created from the seating area!
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King Arthur Cafe Before this lovely cafe opened its doors last spring, the only library eating option was Novack (I'll get there in a second). This delicious establishment is a subset of the King Arthur Flour Factory located in Norwich, Vt. (really short walk, unbelievable free samples). I think that most students would agree that the cafe is one of the best things to happen to Dartmouth since Dr. Seuss (OMG he went here?!). Delicious artisan sandwiches (I recommend the turkey one), incredible baked goods (I'm looking at you, molten dark chocolate cake) and literally the best granola this side of the Mason-Dixon line. If you're looking for a drink, I'd recommend getting a half lemonade, half iced tea it's sweet, tangy and just caffeinated enough for you to get through that econ problem set. Bottom line: They have mini cupcakes. What more could you possibly ask for?
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Novack Consider Novack Cafe the dark horse, the less accomplished older sibling of the King Arthur Cafe. I spent many a lonely winter's night removing the fat onions out of Novack's veggie and hummus wraps or groaning because the Hot Pockets burned the roof of my mouth (probably my fault). That being said, there are one or two gems to this cafe that you should definitely keep in the back of your mind for when the King Arthur Cafe is closed. First, they sell King Arthur rolls! Ask the friendly employees to toast them, then add goat cheese spread and a little honey. The catch: Get the rolls early because they run out/get stale fast. Second are the homemade Rice Krispies. Best Novack late night study snack in my opinion? A Rice Krispie treat and a mini carton of vanilla soy milk. What's that? You're not lactose intolerant? Get ready, because by the time you're done here, Dartmouth will probably have tricked you into thinking that you are. Just ask my five housemates why we only have soy milk and soy cheese in our fridge, or ask anyone in Collis why they only eat the vegan oatmeal cookies.
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Topside A convenience store and not a dining hall. Don't make the same mistake I did and invite someone to "grab a meal at Topside" during Orientation. Just saying.
