Flashback February 16, 2010: The Rec League Legends lose 9-1 to field hockey stars Liz Blanken '13 and Kelly Hood '12.
Legends don't hold grudges; they hold rematches. This week's challenge pits the Legends once more against their hated rivals, the women's field hockey team. But this time, retired Legend Ben Ludlow '12 is out and contemporary Legend Tim Connor '13 is in finally back from a three-week bout with "hickies." Connor casually blitzed Lisa Masini '13 and Maya Herm '13 about The Challenge and The Canoe Club.
"Kelly and Liz warned us this blitz might come one day," Herm said. "Meet us at Chase Field at 5:45 p.m. Bring some tissues we won't have any for you to wipe your tears with."
Years of competition have made the Legends immune to the heckle, but Herm's blitz perplexed us for two reasons. 1) Legends don't cry, they sweat from their eyes and 2) tears would dry up on their own in the cold. We were mighty confused but went into intensive field hockey training nonetheless.
Connor, a two-time-Morristown-Beard-School-boys-v-boys-Spirit-Week-field-hockey-champion, browsed Facebook photos of his field hockey past and liked every single one of them. He then Wikipedia'd "Field Hockey" and bookmarked the page. He'll read it later.
Katz watched minutes and minutes of game-tape from the last field hockey Challenge and recruited All-Ivy star Hood to coach the Legend's squad.
"Play good defense, keep the winking to a minimum and please, please don't injure anyone," Hood said.
Katz and Hood exchanged promise rings and the challenge was set.
Herm, a resident of Bethesda, Md., is known for her quick feet on the field hockey pitch, but she is also an accomplished horseback rider (big word: equestrian). She wrote her college essay about trying to find the "City of Gold" it was a metaphor for finding self.
Masini is famous for her fancy stick work and the Masini Macarena an awkward middle-school dance she performs after every goal. She is from Ann Arbor, Mich., and yes, the University of Michigan is located there. But no, she doesn't live in the Big House.
We arrived at Chase Field a fashionable 10 minutes late to find our worthy opponents shivering and wearing an unsightly amount of mascara. Herm and Masini quickly informed us that the large clumps of blue glitter on their eyes were not for seduction, rather for a Jersey Shore-themed practice held earlier that day. Luckily the Legends, both of whom hail from The N.J., were not the least bit flustered and felt right at home.
Herm and Masini kindly lent us some dangle forks and gave us a quick rundown of the rules of the game two v. two, take-backs past the circle, shots must be above the running board to count.
"No keepers? You kitten me?" Connor interjected.
They were dead serious.
We scoured the likes of Burnham, Chase and Scully-Fahey for a formidable flesh to fill the pipes. Katz stumbled upon squash aficionado and anthropology major Luke Lee '12. Lee initially wholeheartedly agreed to tend goal but declined after seeing Connor's blistering stroke.
With no other warm bodies willing and able to fill the pipes, Kelly Hood, referee and Legends' Coach, proclaimed the challenge must go on. And it did.
Herm flashed a smile at Katz and began play with a run down the right flank and dished a quick pass over to Masini. Masini was quick to show off her famous stick work that lifted Dartmouth field hockey to a 1-0 win against Harvard last weekend but Katz is no Harvard and immediately shutdown Masini's flashy tactics.
With our confidence riding high, we managed to weather the girl's offensive storm for several minutes. The defensive struggle came to a halt when Herm utilized her explosive speed to burn Katz on the outside and beautifully deposit the ball in the upper 90. Big Green FH, 1-0.
Katz had seen this all too many times before dreams dashed at the hands of cute girls. Connor was not prepared to go down without a fight and took matters into his own hands on the following possession. He wielded his dangle fork a la his youth hockey career and buried the biscuit to even up the score at 1.
Soon after the jubilation from Connor's snipe, Herm and Masini contended that a rule change was in order shots on the ground would now count as goals. The illegal rule change coupled with a tiring Legends team, led to a quick turn of events and a 6-1 Herm/Masini victory. The Legends shook hands with Herm and Masini and left the field wondering if they'd ever defeat their archrivals.
"Hey it was 1-1 for a long time," Hood said.
The Legends thanked her and thanked Masini and Herm, but only time will heal this wound. We'll see you next week. Best, The Legends.
Special thanks to our cameraman Eduardo Zapata '13 check out the video on TheDartmouth.com
